Hello!

On this day I am 30 years old, have not taken a psychedelic since about 3 years ago, and am still searching for my greater purpose in life.

I grew up as a very faithful Christian, studying the teachings in the Bible diligently of my own accord. I maintained this up until a few years ago and still value much of what I learned about spirituality and morality. I started questioning much of what I learned in church vs. what I learned in my own studying and interpreting when I was in my mid-teens. In the midst of being devout, I took an interest in eastern spiritual practices and beliefs and also began experimenting quite enthusiastically with cannabis. My dad used to be somewhat of a hippie back in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, and he was a bit open with me about some of his experiences with LSD, mushrooms, and mescaline. That got me interested in psychedelics, along with my love for psychedelic rock like Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, and The Doors. I eventually got to experience mushrooms quite a few times in high school and onward, as well as some experimenting with MDMA. I eventually joined the military, deployed to Afghanistan without incident, and got honorably discharged after 4 years. I took up cannabis use again and searching for mushrooms which I eventually found for a short time. Around 26 I became interested in and found opportunities to experiment with DMT, which I immediately fell in love with. I’ve always been very connected and felt more at home with nature, including extreme wilderness environments of the desert variety. So I started working in wildland firefighting, where I am today. But I still hear something greater calling and I’ve began seeking it again. I’m currently reading and resonating with the books Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal and Meathuman by Deepak Chopra, which are raising my awareness and questioning of “reality” and Conciousness. I’ve always heard a calling from something higher, VERY high, but now more than ever I feel it is most important to prioritize seeking the source of the calling and myself.

My last experience with psychedelics was with psilocybin mushrooms at low dosage everyday for about 5 days. If I had to guess the dosage, probably right around 2 grams of dried fruit body. I didn’t feel good about the source I was getting the mushrooms from and also felt I didn’t “need” them anymore to reach the pleasant loving reality that I walked through while influenced by them. So I stopped seeking them. After a rough experience with a new friend and a low dosage of LSD in Joshua Tree, I also lost my source for DMT experiences, not being comfortable with the friendship anymore. It was a tough time in my life and now thinking back I think I should try to reconnect with him and cultivate a more meaningful friendship.

I have a strong draw to chemistry (seen to me as “grown-up legos”), and I am planning on turning my college education towards chemistry. I’m currently seeking my own place or somewhere that I can practice chemistry in a safe and comfortable environment. Finding this forum, all the knowledge contained within, and the community of mature, knowledgeable, and welcoming individuals is one of the most precious discoveries I feel I’ve made. I’m seeking full membership here in order to join and experience the community here intimately by cultivating new relationships (possibly discovering existing ones), contributing to the community with support, company, and experience, and to learn from others. I am already immensely thankful to all members who have already brought positivity, compassion, and knowledge to this space.

I will write up some of my old trip reports soon enough and contribute where I feel fitting when I can. This fire season has already been exceptionally busy, but I will surely be around here when the free time rolls back in its cycles.

Truly,
Peace and Love!

Hello, and welcome to the Nexus!

Thanks for sharing your story, seems like an interesting path from christianity to hippie-ness to military to firefighting and consciousness research again

I think you studying chemistry sounds great, good luck with that! Chemistry knowledge always comes in handy and i'm sure you'll be able to bring some good contributions.

Is there any psychedelic you never tried but would like to?

Be well

Nice intro, walkingtree, welcome to Nexus!

I recently watched this lecture by Alan Watts in which pieces together Christianity with other traditions in a way that has given me some answers that correspond with my mystical experiences. https://youtu.be/SQWXbbIqlk4

Higher calling! Psychedelics use seems to correlate with that! I believe we can become channels for higher beings (our true natures?) to bring positive change into this world. It can be small or big or it can start small and become big.

Welcome friend, thanks for the great intro

check out ... the secret history of the world by Jonathan Black. just a good read

Welcome Walkingtree!

First, thank you for the work you do with these insane forest fires. I'm confident you're in the same country as myself, and the passed several years we have been inundated with these fires all over the country. So many people are indebted to the risky work you do regularly.

Thank you for being so candid in sharing so much about yourself and what your goals and intents are in being here. How do you feel connecting with psychedelics, and DMT specifically, will help you find your higher calling? What other uses do you have for them?

You've also come to the psychopharmacological wonderland when it comes to chemistry.

I appreciate the open-mindedness you seem to possess and the humility that you exude as well. You've certainly been immersed in many different sub-cultural milieus.

Looking forward the those trip reports they're like candy to me.

One love

Thank you all for the welcomes, engagements, and recommendations. You bet I’ll be consuming any suggested learning!

Endlessness:
One psychedelic I haven’t had an opportunity to experience and really want to is mescaline. Specifically I’m interested in San Pedro or Peyote. I prefer, but am not strict on, experiencing the natural form of psychedelics. But I also am still curious about LSD, after the one bad experience I had with it in a well known desert park; an experience I will get around to sharing.

Voidmatrix:
I feel that the experiences I’ve had with DMT leave me in a state of peace in the midst of turmoil in life and that my glimpses into hyperspace are a privilege to have seen with my own living eyes that there is wholeness. That everything is rooted in one. Those experiences were many years ago and not at my most intentional point in life, but I believe that now traveling to hyperspace with intention and total openness will be an even more rewarding experience. Perhaps I won’t find my purpose with intentional use of DMT, perhaps I will. But I’m looking forward to ceremonially using mushrooms or San Pedro in order to learn from the spirits of the plants and search for my true self, to inform my sense of purpose and establish my confidence in my beliefs. Otherwise… geez!! Hyperspace is amazing! I’ve barely reached out but it’s a living dream! Better! I’m extremely interested in exploring the waking world that I have access to: the earth. But what other frontier is really left for the common man to explore in this age? Hyperspace is, that’s where I want to explore. Conciousness. I am a psychonaut!
I give my word again, the trip reports are coming. When I have down time, I want to rest or read or eat refreshing things. It’s on my mind to get around to typing them up, I understand the hunger lol sorry! I’m on a fire right now, staying up a little longer than I normally would to give this response. But the recent rains have really chilled things out on this particular one, so no debt 👍 Thanks for the appreciation!

Gratitude