PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set:Slightly anxious due to seasonal changes, but overall relaxed.
(physical condition) Set:Slightly sore.
Setting (location):At the altar.
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?)19:30
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication)5g rue tea, a joint of Divine Kush Breath during meditation
last meal: (Time and type)17:00

PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male in this life
body weight: 62.2kg
known sensitivities: Sensory Processing Sensitivity
history of use: Over a decade

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Cannabis, Rue Tea, Changa
Dose(s): Three hits from a previously packed bowl.
Method of administration: Vaporized in GVG


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=19:30
Duration: 0.5 hours
First effects: Body rush and load.
Peak: T=3 minutes
Come down:T=25-30 minutes
Baseline:T=40 minutes

Intensity (overall): 1.5
Evaluation / notes:Handled well. Was a growth point. A step in the right direction.

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 3
Implesantness: 1
Visual Intensity: 2
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.
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 3; Balanced mood, clarity of thought.

REPORT

It was after my role-playing game.

I had initially made the decision to save blasting off for the next day. That changed during my meditation.

I had taken a break from DMT for about a month while assessing the effects of a microdose regimen that I had started.

Drinking my tea, and smoking my joint, I began falling into my meditative process. Breathing slow and deep, I allowed my thoughts to run their course while remaining in a mode of observation. After my tea and joint were finished, thoughts around my generally inexplicable psychedelic apprehension cropped up. I love psychedelics, particularly DMT. It calls me and communicates with me (seemingly at least) outside of the influence of hyperspace. But I struggle to "go" and to go deep.

The spice had been calling me, and waiting patiently. I also wanted to journey. I've learned that when consciously I don't have a laid out reason for journeying, the impetus can be found in my intuition. So, in an effort to do what I love without holding back, and without focusing on the worst case scenerio, I grabbed my GVG that had a bowl packed from about a month ago. Before taking a hit, I recited the following invocation with intent:



I took my first hit. The body load and rush came on quick. I took another hit...

The first space I entered seemed to be primarily composed of human heads, with flat affects and expressions. As I moved through the space, I noticed a large throne like chair, with a titan sitting in it. The titan was massive. It noticed and acknowledged me, but then went about its business. The vibe was dark, but I was still enjoying myself and the space, observing the structures and their range of pastel colors in the hues of purples, reds, pinks, whites, and greys. Thoughts cropped up related to hierarchies, domination, as well as thoughts about my own fear. My fear dominates me. The fear my depression magnifies dominates me.

From there I ended up in a strange carnival like space. The black drop was just space, as if the whole things was just floating. There were alien figures seemingly enjoying the carnival. I even recall being at a booth similar to the one where games are played, such as throwing a ball into a hole or at falling figures to win prizes. However, I was uncertain how "their" games were played, so just observed. Many of the alien figures seemed to be enjoying themselves doing odd things like flattening themselves and moving through a mechanism.

There was a "welcome back" message throughout the journey.

I'm glad I had this journey, because seasonal effects hit me hard today and probably would've been tougher to manage without the afterglow of the journey.

This is also one of those journeys that makes me move away from the term "breakthrough." It sounds like a breakthrough experience, but didn't have the vividness and intensity for me to call it such. Everything I saw was there, and I was clearly somewhere else, but also still in my room, and still in my body, as if I was standing perpendicular inside the hyperspace doorway. Hitting the pipe more would've only made it appear more vivid.

I need to let go of my inhibitions, do more of what I want, not have such high standards, be less rigid, and allow myself freedom. All things that are works in progress. Also, stop judging myself for being unable to journey in ways I used to in the past. It's okay to be where I am in my journey. Psychedelics are part of my path.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

One love

Thank you for sharing, a good read.

You seem to be your own harshest critic.

Yes thank you Voidmatrix for this. Well reflected.
When you now lifted off and it went well, didn't you want to continue journeying? Almost always happens to me...

Thank you both



Hahaha that's putting it nicely. However, thank you for calling that out, because while I try to do so internally, the message doesn't always sink in. It helps when the same message comes externally sometimes (which I have received from DMT, but considering its mysterious nature, it's hard to know how much weight to attribute to certain messages).



And thank you for calling this out as well.

Do I want to? Hell yeah. Do I allow myself? Very rarely. There's almost a categorical denial of myself from that which I would like and want. A voice telling me I shouldn't. That's the voice of depression and I need to heed my own voice better.

Thank you both again. This is a rocky time of year for me, so the encouragement is very much appreciated.

I'm also glad you both enjoyed the report.

One love

Well, if it makes you feel any better.... I just got brutally hyperslapped with changa. The last 3 experiences. One was incredible, one was underwhelming, one was hopefully amnesic.

I'm thinking now that I'll wait a while and try freebase when the time is right. I need some rapid flash colour and vibrancy to offset the murky, far too drawn out places I've been recently.

Damn, I'm sorry. Sometimes breaks are good. I make sure to take them from time to time and moderate the distance I travel when frequency of use is higher. There are instances for exceptions and branching out though.

Was the amnesic one because it was so weird, or did you smoalk a whole lot in a very short window of time? Just curious.

Yeah... I've found that it tends to only get weirder with time, which can make it a little bit more daunting potentially. Switching it up to freebase from changa or visa versa does change things up noticeably.

One love

Oh it wasnt that bad. Just complete confusion, no solid visual or emotional content. That kind of space where you need to try really hard to remember you just smoked some DMT and that it will be over soon. Writhing organic feelings without any clarity, almost faint worm like pseudo visuals that are not really there. Too fast and too confused to grasp anything. Devoid of company, just a mess. Amnesic because there was no message other than I did it wrong. Potentially too high a dose. A single bowl that took a good 30 mins to get back to baseline. Too much dose to be smooth but too much maoi to be useful I'm guessing.

I'm learning that my changa with maoi skills are hit an miss to say the least. I have a feeling that the distribution of DMT and passion flower are not even or consistent through the stash of changa.

Once in the past it might have been traumatic. But by now my only reaction on coming down was a wry, self degrading laugh at my lack of experience.

Ha! That all sounds familiar!

As for the even distribution of DMT and harmalas, it's helpful to use extracted harmalas to more evenly distribute it throughout the blend. I notice this even more when I use passionflower. As you continue to experiment with making changa you'll dial in the balance of preferred herbs per batch to help mitigate the distribution issue.

Have a great day my friend

One love

Hi, friend! Many hugs!

I really missed you. Haven't talked in a long time.

I have been on a break, in experiments with DMT, for 9 months now.

You know, somehow unexpectedly for me, it became clear to me that I needed a break.

I need to assimilate the material that I received from past travels.

It's been 9 months. Apparently I learned the experience from my travels. This I saw, after carefully observing myself, for a long time. Only I was looking for thoughts with words that would give me answers. But I didn't see anything. And today I realized that there will be no words, no images. Yes, and that's not the point. I saw and recognized it. I have changed myself. I choose my mood. Whatever happens, I choose to be sad or happy. This is the best skill in my life. I'm happy!

Friend, it has already been said above that you are too strict with yourself. I wanted to express my opinion too. I want to add. I see you as a good, kind person who sincerely loves people.

If you love me, believe me, the one you forbid yourself to love is worthy of your love no less than I am.



Tomorrow is my next trip.



Thank you for having me.



Thank you all, I love you all.

My friend! It's wonderful to hear from you. Love hearing about your learning through your integration break And I look forward to hearing how your trip tomorrow goes.

There's some synchronicity with the timing of your response and the content as I have been talking myself up for a journey after work. Thank you for the kind and honest words of encouragement and love. I am doing my best to make changes with myself and one of those is being less strict and rigid and more free and fluid. You're helping me to be excited and look forward to this journey instead of feeling anxious and having to reverse convince myself to go for it.

Hugs! Don't be a stranger :love"

One love