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Toki
#1 Posted : 1/14/2022 4:08:52 AM

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Joined: 13-Jan-2022
Last visit: 20-Nov-2023
After having known about the nexus - this wonderful forum - for some years and reading discussions without registering, I have now finally done it. As a member of a generation that was brought up completely offline I am still amazed what profound communities, what forms of interaction can form online. I am very grateful that I can be part of this forum and to know that there are people out there who unterstand the joys and pitfalls of the psychedelic experience who I can talk to.

I grew up in a family and in surroundings that had nothing to do with entheogens, with looking inside, with pushing the edges. But as I have always been curious and have always doubted that the world is as it seems, my contact with psychedelics was only a matter of time, wasn't it? I was in my late 20s when I first took LSD, and I was very lucky that I had two people on my side who knew very well what they were doing and who I could trust. In general, I am somehow a fearful person, but my curiosity has always been bigger just by a nuance. Apart from some juvinile foolishness my attitude towards substances has always been respectful. So I pondered my decision to take my first trip for quite a while, but finally taking it sitting next to a camp fire in that night 15 years ago somehow changed everything. Looking back, this trip had so many of the typical properties of psychedelics: deepened understanding of my own psychodynamics, peculiar telepathic communication with the woman sitting next to me (I will never forget how strange it felt to "talk" to someone without saying a single word), terrifing hallucinations and amusing metamorphosis into a rabbit (yes, a rabbit). All of these things came to me so effortlessly, so naturally, despite the fact that I wasn't used to any of them. I don't think that I fully understood what was going on that night, but my friends and the substance were so gently to me.

Sometimes I also had rough experiences with substances, which made me even more careful than I have always been anyway.

Years passed by, different substances came in my life. I was hooked! A whole new world! A whole new paradigm! I wanted to be as well informed as I could get. I read the classics, Grof, McKenna and you name it. That helped a lot to integrate and understand what I experienced. Some years ago, I decided to strictly look inside while being on a pretty high dose of LSD. It is unforgettable, describing it with words feels like pointing to the moon with me finger. Maybe I will write a report about that sometime later?

DMT came later. It seems that everything in my life comes at such a slow pace. I heard rumors about DMT. Months and years passed by. And then I had it my hands. It is by far the most complicated to consume drug I have ever tried, but whom am I telling that? Oh my! I wasted so much. I am not so far on my way down the rabbit hole with DMT yet, I have not dared yet take as much as I actually want to. Maybe that is a reason for me to be here, too.

There is so much more about consciousness than I once thought. There seem to be so many truths behind veils, and it is not always easy to tell them apart. All in all I am still a scientific person. My personal experiences of the "impossible" and my unshattered scientific approch may be a discrepancy I have to live with.

I am looking forward to getting to know you people of this forum and what you and it can teach me. Please be kind, I will try to be so, too. By the way, English is not my mother tongue, but I think it's good enough to speak about the unspeakable. Pleased

So long, best wishes! Feels good to be here.
 

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Exitwound
#2 Posted : 1/14/2022 1:07:48 PM

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Nice intro, welcome! Smile
 
emong
#3 Posted : 1/14/2022 5:00:31 PM

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Last visit: 18-Mar-2024
Greetings Toki:

Thank you for taking the time to write a descriptive introduction.

Welcome to the Nexus and I hope you get closer to finding what you are looking for by being here.

Kind regards and respect.
Vi veri vniversvm vivvs vici.
 
Toki
#4 Posted : 1/14/2022 11:40:48 PM

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Joined: 13-Jan-2022
Last visit: 20-Nov-2023
Thanks a lot for you welcoming words!

I've just come back from a little changa trip. Hm... seems as if I used kind of too much herbs for too little DMT for my changa. But anyway, I still couldn't build up enough courage to smoke enough for a substancial experience. :/

Greetings to all. Pleased
 
belax
#5 Posted : 1/16/2022 6:25:44 AM

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Joined: 29-Dec-2021
Last visit: 23-Jan-2022
Hi Toki. I really enjoyed reading your introduction.

I can relate with a lot of what you describe about your background and your psychedelic experiences.
I'm also fairly new around here and DMT came into my world later on. I've worked with psilocybin a lot through the years and have found it to be such an incredible teacher, through a few difficult experiences but mostly gentle. It is so satisfying to have a good relationship with mushrooms, I consider even the challenging experiences to be so beneficial. I am striving to cultivate a good, respectful relationship with DMT and also getting slowly acquainted with larger amounts.

I'm sure putting your high dose LSD experience into words will be quite an exercise. Will look forward to reading it someday.
Take care.
 
Toki
#6 Posted : 1/17/2022 1:55:17 AM

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Last visit: 20-Nov-2023
Hi, belax.
Thanks a lot for your nice reply. Hm... mushrooms, yes. I feel like I have to try them in higher doses once, I had some nice experiences with mushrooms, but I have not had an overwhelming high dose experice yet, although I grew my first own shrooms several years ago. Once I was on a walk with my best friend on 3 grams, I lay down on the edge of a bridge head next to the Danube, closed my eyes and suddenly there was a mighty beam of white light coming out of my stomach and reaching all up to the sky and down into to earth. By that time, actually, it was the most intense psychedelic experience I had had, I got a glimpse of what I meant to lose direct connection to own's body and ego.
Well, I would really like to share my high dose acid experience on some forum, but I don't know if trip reports about LSD are welcomed here as this is a DMT forum. Let's see.

Take care, be safe, best wishes! Smile
 
Voidmatrix
#7 Posted : 1/19/2022 12:26:25 AM

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Last visit: 03-Mar-2024
First, welcome Very happy

Second:
Toki wrote:
Well, I would really like to share my high dose acid experience on some forum, but I don't know if trip reports about LSD are welcomed here as this is a DMT forum.


You're golden. Share away. If I remember correctly my introduction essay was an LSD trip report.

Toki wrote:
English is not my mother tongue, but I think it's good enough to speak about the unspeakable.


Your English is impressive.

Toki wrote:
I have not dared yet take as much as I actually want to. Maybe that is a reason for me to be here, too.


Though I am a veteran in these spaces, I've been experiencing some mental blocks in regards to how deep I'd like to go. This is a wonderful place to work through things like that. Many have been of invaluable assistance to me.

belax wrote:
I am striving to cultivate a good, respectful relationship with DMT and also getting slowly acquainted with larger amounts.


I have found that this as well as reverence and respect will get you a long way with DMT.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
compulsimple
#8 Posted : 1/19/2022 1:47:06 AM
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Last visit: 22-Jun-2023
Life and also some psychedelics.
and poetry for you thank you for coming here it's just so nice to have new people. Blossom and awesome! I'm also new!
Welcome! Enjoy life and respect everything it has both of its lyrics and its literatures. The world is a stimuli, thank you for perceiving it day to day and night from night

[poetry flower pot, it's a metaphore but still you are also welcome to the nexus- read that attitude, FAQ, WIKI, and health & Safety]
 
Toki
#9 Posted : 1/21/2022 9:34:32 AM

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Joined: 13-Jan-2022
Last visit: 20-Nov-2023
Ooooooooh, thanks so much for your nice words. It really means a lot for me being welcomed. Smile All the best!
 
 
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