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my intro: an intravenous DPT journey into hyperspace and hell dimension Options
 
necromanteum
#1 Posted : 5/8/2021 12:23:37 PM
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essay? Shocked

so i've had some dpt hcl salt for like 10+ years, stored at room temp, away from light in a dark brown vile. all my past experiences with it (snorting) were rather lousy and inconsequential. and for some reason this year i IVed a herculean dose (eyeballed about 200mg) and had quite the experience.

So, I don't know how else to explain it... but you know "bullet time" mode, like the agents in the movie The Matrix? It was like I experienced that. Felt like my head was moving in multiple directions at once, but it wasn't really my head, it was like a superposition of "consciousness" or something. a good way to describe it would be a MASSIVE "neurochemical and electrophysiological burst firing in serotonergic neurons". the best visual, besides the matrix agents, would be a short clip from this synthwave music video: https://youtu.be/iUIeQwXVjX0?t=70 the 1:10 - 1:42 mark. that's kind of what it felt like.



There was also this sense of raw power. as if I felt myself accelerating somehow. then suddenly i was aware of "apparent motion" and "time" but in the sense of a flip-page animation booklet. I could sense every moment as an individual animation frame, or page. And then suddenly I was accelerating beyond all comprehension. It felt almost like that Man of Steel movie moment, when superman first starts flying. And when this happened, it felt like I broke through *something*. I don't know if it was a protective astral shell, because that's when the trip starting going down a pretty scary route.

At this point I would describe it as integration of what FELT like other human intelligences (very well could have been normally splintered parts of my own mind, but I could definitely sense "others" that didn't feel like ME). And I remember I got a sense of being caught in a high dimensional rubix cube of consciousness. A tesseract I guess? But I got the sense that the other consciousnesses were inhabiting their own dimensional cubes, but somehow had been superimposed over my own. And I only had some very rudimentary connection to them. It wasn't like I had access to any actual life memories, but I had the overwhelming sense of what felt like being tapped into a "human" hive mind of sorts. Hyperspace I guess? Mind you I'm in a densely populated suburb and this was around 3am. And it was then I started getting the strong impression of the limitation of categorical (linguistic) human thought... and that this integration of consciousnesses in the "cube" space was somehow like an eternal prison. and that "the "absolute" ("the sum of all being, actual and potential",) exists without reason or purpose, for eternity. no beginning, no end... just is.

the best way I can describe it is that i had qualitatively grasped what omniscience/omnipresence would be like, but only if from my own limited human perspective, which obviously made it a rather horrifying prospect conceptually, and as experience in the moment.


it was at this point i remembered when I broke through that astral shell, or whatever, from accelerating, and I suddenly connected that event to the big bang for some reason. and it was then I thought that the creation of the universe MIGHT have been "the absolute" exploding and fragmenting itself in the Big Bang to escape that eternal prison. taking refuge as "low level" forms of consciousnesses & matter, being able to experience novelty, discovery, DOUBT, SLEEP (!!!!) as a reprieve from the abject horror of an eternity without reason or purpose.



From there my trip took a much, MUCH darker turn. As if being schrodinger's cat, cheshirized in a hyper-dimensional cube matrix of a human hive mind wasn't quite scary enough. But I think this terrifying part of the trip is where my ego was starting to reintegrate itself, and began to manifest as personal ego distortions... except that it happened in an extremely alien way. I felt as if I was bifurcated into ME and an ANTI-ME.

On second thought, after reading this thread (by Erik): https://www.dmt-nexus.me...amp;m=836336#post836336 << this basically sums up what this dark part of my trip felt like. I was being "assaulted" with my own sense of self worth, and would get countered by the perfect cognitive foil every time I tried to justify anything about my thoughts, my self worth, my life, and any ideas of salvation from an existential hell dimension. but I do remember getting an impression of these 2 purple eyes, very much in the form of the egregore (see: daily bestiary img search on google).

and holy shit was it powerful, because it had direct access to my mind. it not only countered all my thoughts perfectly, but also peppered in fears/phobias I have to frighten me. and perhaps the worst part of it was the "dimensionality" of it. because it felt like these thoughts were ECHOING, though it wasn't actually sound i was hearing. It was as if the thoughts were (sound)waves, or maybe better to think of as ripples on a pond when dropping in a stone. except that these waves were bouncing off the "edges" of something (i would guess the edges of that cube space I felt earlier -- and could maybe best be understood as the allotted space for any given human consciousness within a hyperspace "matrix", which maybe just a fancy way of saying the boundaries of my mind within "Indra's net"Pleased.

anyway, those thoughts were bounding back towards me, amplifying, cresting and CRASHING INTO ME. in fact it felt like being relentlessly pummeled in a wave pool, or perhaps not unlike drowning. and I was screaming uncontrollably at this point due to the sheer sense of panic and terror from feeling as if I was being FORCIBLY UNMADE. although not just being unmade, but also feeling simultaneously TRAPPED in this hyperspace with a "collective" merciless intelligence. it's what I imagine it may feel like to be "possessed" (like the "dark sleep of the kali ma" in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). but it was my fear response that was under complete control by this dark intelligence; like an acute sense of FIGHT OR FLIGHT, but if it was being swung around like a rock in a sling. I could feel the horrifying inertia of it, having my consciousness rag dolled as if it were a little toy for this dark collective's amusement.

I really can't give the experience justice through words alone, though. because there was very much an UNMISTAKABLE, unambiguous quality to this. there was no, oh maybe i'm just imagining this happening to me, or oh it's just the drug... meaning I could make it stop at anytime if I only I just did some meditation work. No, the connection to this sense of OTHER so clearly open and alien to me. In hindsight it's easier to rationalize the experience in more "objective" terms and understanding... but this was beyond any other experience I've ever had in my life. More real than reality itself, to put a point on it.



at this point my "sitter" came in the room, and I couldn't even recognize them when they did. i think they started praying or some shit, but that made me see them as some kind of demon, or agent of this dark intelligence, and I swear at one point it felt as if they KNEW what was going on with me, and were getting some kind of sick amusement out of it. so, it felt like I had been AWAKENED to a hidden meta-layer of reality, or a "non-corporeal" / hyperspace realm where we are tied to higher selves of who are as humans. very much, and in every possible way, did it feel more real than my normal waking life though. I can't stress this enough. and i think part of the reason is my mind was no longer compartmentalizing different aspects of my consciousness, due to the spontaneous neurogenesis that happened at the onset of my trip, when all these that's best working theory i have anyway.

but at this point it felt like I was in some kind of hell dimension, where its extremely difficult to maintain any sort of enclosed "self" identity... where notions of privacy and "consent" are almost non-existent. and it also felt extremely HIGH DIMENSIONAL, as in way more vast and terrifying than the "human" hive mind thing too. and at that point my sensory complex wasn't processing much of ANYTHING really. i mean, i was there in the room, but my mind was completely engaged in this "hyperspace", so I guess sort of like when you blank out from a really focused daydream.

i also remember feeling this vaguely familiar sense that somehow i had been in this hyperspace before, and forgotten that I knew about it. and also got strong impression there are very much discarnate entities who exist at these incalculably ABSURD levels of consciousness. sort of like in Hellraiser, when pinhead says "explorers in the further regions of experience"... where thoughts and emotions are amplified, to the point that they are your ONLY senses.



in hindsight, i've thought that it's possible everyone is "LYING" to me about reality, and that there really aren't any barriers between my mind and EVERYTHING else. of course there's still DOUBT... insomuch as what i'm saying is true, EXCEPT, every other human is operating under the same "consensus relativism" mode of consciousness too. meaning that they aren't aware of any integrated hyperspace in their day to day lives... but that hyperspace still exists as a higher dimensional layer of consciousness. but "consensus relativism" / individual identity mode keeps people bound to their bodies & physical senses.

and what I feel like is happening is that my mind is interpreting any experience I am taking in via the senses, but filtering them through the chemical action of my serotonergic system to change qualitative experience into perceiving "hyperspace". like when i thought my sitter was a demon for instance... you could call it a hallucination. but man I'd like to get Donald Hoffman to weigh in on it. HAHA! my question would be are those qualia real or just imagined? of course that's the functional doubt. but I can tell you during the experience, it 100% resonates as REAL. no semblance of doubt, WHAT SO EVER.


anyway... I guess that sounds an awful lot like schizophrenia, except it doesn't seem the same as schizophrenia because it's not like I was talking to Jesus, or hearing Donald Trump in my ear, and I certainly didn't think the CIA was monitoring me through the fillings in my teeth. Because these sorts of things are falsifiable in a lucid, retrospective examination. Everything that's happening in my mind during the trip is just my own subjective exp, but strangely only pertaining to a "hyperspace", layer of reality. is it just me, or does it not seem as if there is a subtle difference between them??


so that's my story. feel free to comment and tell me how off i am. or share anything you'd like really. also, this experience helped me change a few things in my life. the biggest is that i've lost 50 lbs since it happened in Feb, and i'm working on digital art again. not to mention for a good week or so my intelligence got what felt like an "upgrade". very strange chemical, to say the least!

if you read this whole thing, i'm sorry. unless you enjoyed it, in which case... Thumbs up
 

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Bisy
#2 Posted : 5/8/2021 8:19:07 PM

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that was a very enjoyable read, very intelligent and well articulated. thx for sharing.. how did you sit on a vile of dmt salts for so long? if youve got the courage and curiosity to iv a heroic dose, one would think you would figurate out how to convert it to freebase and try that first.. ive iv'd it before, but im thinking i would want to smoke it first.
Everything i say is fictional, I just wanna be cool and fit in.
 
Exitwound
#3 Posted : 5/8/2021 8:31:28 PM

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Welcome and wow, what a trip! Shocked

This is certainly an interesting topic for me and I have previously read the thread you referenced, following my own experiences - I can relate to a lot said in that particular thread.

I think these "annoying alien intelligences" are part of our shared BIOS (collective subconsciousness?), hence the direct access to thoughts and fears, but while in altered state we can give imagination too much power over ourselves if we lack power of will/focus.

Wondering how this trip has affected your use of psychedelics? Did you have any flashbacks to this trip since then?

@Bisy - I think OP referenced DPT, not DMT



 
dvc777
#4 Posted : 5/8/2021 8:57:30 PM
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I find the thing you said about the big bang interesting. I would also think that the unfolding of being in space and time can be interpreted as an escape from the hellish "oneness" of everything.
the stuff about emotion and thought being blown up and overtaking the position of the senses also rang a bell.
 
necromanteum
#5 Posted : 5/8/2021 9:39:33 PM
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Bisy wrote:
that was a very enjoyable read, very intelligent and well articulated. thx for sharing.. how did you sit on a vile of dmt salts for so long? if youve got the courage and curiosity to iv a heroic dose, one would think you would figurate out how to convert it to freebase and try that first.. ive iv'd it before, but im thinking i would want to smoke it first.


thank you. i've got exp with IV, and am fairly comfortable with it. also I don't smoke/vape at all. the IV route makes sense for me, but perhaps I overdid things just a bit lol. I definitely wanted that breakthrough experience, and it certainly felt that way the first 10-15 mins.

i snorted the dpt in the past (50mg), however, with not so great results. I had also IV'd about 40mg and had a rather mild experience. just some red tinge to my sight, and green tribal patterns overlapping the walls. not much beyond that, besides some mild body sensation (air molecules feeling rather heavy, slight stomach butterflies, nothing major).



Exitwound wrote:
Welcome and wow, what a trip! Shocked

This is certainly an interesting topic for me and I have previously read the thread you referenced, following my own experiences - I can relate to a lot said in that particular thread.

I think these "annoying alien intelligences" are part of our shared BIOS (collective subconsciousness?), hence the direct access to thoughts and fears, but while in altered state we can give imagination too much power over ourselves if we lack power of will/focus.

Wondering how this trip has affected your use of psychedelics? Did you have any flashbacks to this trip since then?


thanks!

that does make some sense to me, the bios thing... as from what i understand describes what egregores are. to be honest with you, i think the last time i read or thought about egregores was like 15 years ago. so the fact that I saw this in my mind's eye, seems strangely coincidental. it'a a concept i came across maybe once or twice in my life and never given much thought to. so my mind using that concept to create some hallucinogenic narrative seems unlikely to me. but i'll admit the possibility.


dvc777 wrote:
I find the thing you said about the big bang interesting. I would also think that the unfolding of being in space and time can be interpreted as an escape from the hellish "oneness" of everything.
the stuff about emotion and thought being blown up and overtaking the position of the senses also rang a bell.


appreciate you taking the time to read. yeah, just one of those things that occurred to me during the trip.
 
Bisy
#6 Posted : 5/8/2021 10:24:22 PM

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hehe, just when i thought i finally knew everything, dpt saves the day.....Confused i never heard of it, i thought the mistake was in the post...
Everything i say is fictional, I just wanna be cool and fit in.
 
ChristianMeteor
#7 Posted : 6/9/2021 8:05:10 PM

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I find your description of hell being void of "privacy and consent" quite interesting, and disturbingly inline with conspiracies of mass surveillance and absolute power of an elitist class-but this is not the place for such things.

I would think, likening psychedelics to dissolvers of boundaries to the hyper dimensional, you tapped into a particularly bizarre branch of infinity. The vastness of this place you describe is one of the most interesting parts-like the awe of standing before the ocean. So unfathomably large that the sense of self is almost lost, but at the very same time the realization of "us" being "everything" is awe inspiring in the sheer amount of creation that we are infact capable of.
 
 
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