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XA1
#1 Posted : 11/18/2020 3:18:46 AM

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Joined: 31-Oct-2020
Last visit: 29-Nov-2021
Location: Here, Now.
Hello, I'm happy to have slipped in the window to this special place.

Why am I here? Because the most fascinating experience of my life led me here. It reminds me of the question: How did the Shamans figure out which plants to mix together to make ayahuasca? Answer: The plants told them! Is this true? Who am I to say, but I love the idea.

Anyway, I'll give a little background. My first psychedelic experience occurred around 37 years ago. It was a gift and purported to be LSD. In hindsight I suspect it was less than 100 micrograms, but it was amazing. I had a fantastic experience and it planted a seed of lifelong interest in psychonautical exploration.

By now I've had roughly 40 psychedelic experiences. In the early days I had a purely hedonistic intent - just have fun. That has worked out OK, with no significant adverse effect. But now I have different goals. I still have the intention of having fun, but primarily seek the type of experience one would consider a gift. Not surprisingly, I enjoy discussions about mysticism, transcendence, one-ness, the nature of consciousness, etc...

For 35 years or so I've been fascinated with the enigma of consciousness. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and a newfound interest in chemistry. Also starting around 35 years ago I learned how to have lucid dreams. I have logged 43 of them. Not a lot, but each one a jewel. I feel strongly that any theory of consciousness must take lucid dreaming into account.

College also started my interest in eastern religions, yoga and meditation. I was brought up Christian but abandoned that theology around the age of 17. My belief's now are best compared to that of Buddhism and Carl Yung's concept of the Collective Unconscious.

My college days also began my lifelong study of altered states of consciousness – natural and otherwise. I have a healthy library about that subject as well as all the other topics I've mentioned. I might also mention my interest in neurofeedback as a means of accelerating meditation.

And now for the big one. I recently received as a gift enough DMT for several uses. I knew what I was getting into, but had not researched the proper ways to smoke it. I got the job done though! First I experienced sub brake-thru levels, and was still blown away at the intensity. Then, the same night, I broke thru. My goal was to brake thru with what I was given, so basically I ended up doing more than needed for that. So I went in the rabbit hole, and came back out feeling like God had given me a tour of the inner workings of life itself. By God, I mean the collective whole of all life combined, not God as described by Christianity. I'll spare the details for another day, but the experience was profound and left me with more questions than answers. I'm sure that surprises no one!

What do I have to offer the DMT-Nexus? I do not claim to be an authority on any subject here. But I do have 35+ years of experience pondering the big questions and exploring the ineffable. So I'd hope to offer an amusing view point here and there. That's about it.

I do intend to obtain my own source material in a sustainable fashion and extract my own DMT. I'll do it in a location where it is legal, of course. How long this will take, I don't care. It's not a race. I've already had a taste of the infinite.
 

STS is a community for people interested in growing, preserving and researching botanical species, particularly those with remarkable therapeutic and/or psychoactive properties.
 
Exitwound
#2 Posted : 11/18/2020 6:08:19 AM

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Last visit: 16-Feb-2024
Welcome, I think you will fit right in Smile
 
Allegro Vivo
#3 Posted : 11/18/2020 7:53:39 PM

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Last visit: 28-Feb-2023
Location: Adrift in the Isles of Langerhans
XA1 - I envy you your breakthrough! This still awaits me, but like you I'm patient and infinitely curious. Good luck to us both.
 
XA1
#4 Posted : 11/19/2020 2:38:43 AM

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Last visit: 29-Nov-2021
Location: Here, Now.
Exitwound - Thanks!

Allegro Vivo - I look forward to reading about your experiences. Then maybe I'll envy your breakthrough!

 
Curated_Thinking
#5 Posted : 11/19/2020 4:53:09 AM

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Last visit: 12-Feb-2023
I like how you are able to disregard your religious upbringing. I don't have a problem with people who are or religion itself. The christian way though has never been for me. However I can't kick the way it colors my thinking sometimes. I notice it a lot more now.
CURATED_THINKING wrote:
IF ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, THEN WHAT IS A CONTRADICTION?

**********

I HOPE AT THE END ON MY LIFE MORE GOOD WAS DONE THAN HARM BECAUSE OF THE LIFE I LIVED. I HOPE I ALTERED THE COURSE OF SOMETHING WHICH LEAD TO A GREATNESS OR WONDER THAT OTHERWISE WOULD NOT BE. I WANT WHAT WE ALL WANT, TO KNOW I WAS WORTH IT.
 
Exitwound
#6 Posted : 11/19/2020 6:00:24 AM

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Last visit: 16-Feb-2024
Curated_Thinking wrote:
I like how you are able to disregard your religious upbringing. I don't have a problem with people who are or religion itself. The christian way though has never been for me. However I can't kick the way it colors my thinking sometimes. I notice it a lot more now.


Speaking from my own experience of trying to disassemble deeply rooted programming in brain (any programming, not only religious) - it takes A LOT of time and effort to re-connect circuits in our heads Smile

Noticing and observing and asking yourself "why am I having this reaction/thought" is a first solid step.
 
XA1
#7 Posted : 11/22/2020 5:28:41 PM

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Location: Here, Now.
Curated_Thinking – I try not to feel as though I know the truth. That would be arrogant and ignorant. Therefore I consider myself an agnostic. In fact the more I learn, the less I know!

Exitwound – I agree with your comment. I would add that recognizing behavior that results from your own bias is the first step in overcoming that bias. Unfortunately many people cruise right thru life without acknowledging their own bias.
 
grimlid
#8 Posted : 11/22/2020 7:07:18 PM

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Hi, nice to see you fellow Nexus Newcomer. Just s a side not is that the protesting Buddhist monks in your avatar? It looks familiar but I am using a smallish monitor atm.
"I think; therefore I might be."
 
XA1
#9 Posted : 11/22/2020 8:56:17 PM

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Hello grimlid, yes, that is Thích Quảng Đức June 11th, 1963. He is a central figure in my belief system. Since you asked, I'll elaborate.

Upon researching this in the 80s I read a first hand account from reporter David Halberstam: “As he burned he never moved a muscle, never uttered a sound, his outward composure in sharp contrast to the wailing people around him.” This blew me away. It also proved beyond any doubt that meditation can lead to astonishing control of the mind and body. If you read what Buddhist's state as possible attainments, it seems unbelievable to most. But how can you second guess these notions after learning of this feat?

This act of protest etched itself into my memory and psyche where it will remain until I pass. I became upset when I saw that Rage Against The Machine used the image for their debut album. Thankfully I became a huge fan of the band and got over the use of the image. Although I'm a Rage fan, the avatar is not about them, it's a tribute to Thích Quảng Đức.
 
Curated_Thinking
#10 Posted : 11/23/2020 6:49:44 AM

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Quote:
Speaking from my own experience of trying to disassemble deeply rooted programming in brain (any programming, not only religious) - it takes A LOT of time and effort to re-connect circuits in our heads Smile

Noticing and observing and asking yourself "why am I having this reaction/thought" is a first solid step.
EXITWOUND
I've never been too married to any idea or belief, or I'd like to think so. I've noticed how my outlook on things have changed or matured over the last say 10 years. To put a word to it I think I have a deeper appreciation and expectation for nuance. I know now that many things are not as simple as they seem. More complicated than other people are aware of, but most importantly don't want to admit. With doing away with ways of thinking that weren't my own I have to be willing to part ways with the part of me that helped create. Whatever was put in me helped make me as I am.

Quote:
XA1 I try not to feel as though I know the truth. That would be arrogant and ignorant. Therefore I consider myself an agnostic. In fact the more I learn, the less I know!
I think more people need to admit that they know nothing. Stop making others think they've got it figured out because that I think causes countless people to not try their hand at contributing to the task of finding true meaning. All that does is keep things where they are now.
CURATED_THINKING wrote:
IF ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, THEN WHAT IS A CONTRADICTION?

**********

I HOPE AT THE END ON MY LIFE MORE GOOD WAS DONE THAN HARM BECAUSE OF THE LIFE I LIVED. I HOPE I ALTERED THE COURSE OF SOMETHING WHICH LEAD TO A GREATNESS OR WONDER THAT OTHERWISE WOULD NOT BE. I WANT WHAT WE ALL WANT, TO KNOW I WAS WORTH IT.
 
aethereon
#11 Posted : 11/25/2020 12:06:54 AM

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Last visit: 18-Mar-2024
Dear XA1, definitely very incredible to hear what happened on that day in 1963. I'm assuming you're aware of the story of Thíchs heart? Look into it if you don't know what I'm talking about.


 
XA1
#12 Posted : 11/25/2020 1:49:20 AM

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Last visit: 29-Nov-2021
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aethereon - yes I am aware of that story. I'm not sure what to make of it, but it adds to the mystique. That's for sure.
 
 
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