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aethereon
#1 Posted : 11/19/2020 4:33:53 AM
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New member

Posts: 5
Joined: 09-May-2020
Last visit: 13-Jan-2021
Hi, I've lurked around in the forums for years, never hardcore lurking but you know, just dip your toes in here and there. That's been my general experience with Divine Moments of Truth as well one could say. Bouts of fascination, interest, mingling... but never the full breakthrough, I know I have been close but I haven't been able to fully commit myself, every time I near the brink after a hit or two (usually changa plus a bit of spice) I just panic, it seems like every cell in my system screams THATS [crazy] ENOUGH and 'lay back.' It's seldom that I even attempt this, my stash has lain around for ages, I've even noticed the yellowness of the sand has started to tinge into an orange, and a perceptible lack of 'pungency' from the little bit that I have left is noticeable... the strong flowery essence has aired out over time. I keep telling myself to get on it, but it's like been that for a while if that wasn't obvious.
I remember a couple of years ago when I got out of my first vipassana serve I was super inspired to get back into DMT realms. I was so clear headed and I managed to procure some spice and changa. I even got myself a GVG... but then... my long-standing weed habit kinda kicked back in after [yet another] another brief respite. The gvg would seldom get used for anything spice related thereafter. I didn't want to venture down the whole 'machine' method again because it was several years since then but the memory of just how 'cracked out' it felt yeah anyways. Prob bad technique as I'm sure I was burning it.

I feel anxious to try DMT any time I'm high and for the better part of my life, I've been high 24/7 basically... and starting to feel a 'Graham Hancock' kinda vibe with the 'green boss' as he called it. Which he points out that - it wasn't the cannabis that he was calling the green boss - it was his relationship with it. Regardless, yeah, I mean I know that some people even blaze sandwiches using a bit of weed, but I dunno, it's just a bit much. There is a thing called weed emesis and I feel like I'm borderline that some days. It's definitely time to stop and slow down. If not just cut it out directly, but it's such a tough one for me at times, I feel like often at times "it's good" but, is that just 'the addiction speaking?' I think as with everything the intention that we put into things kinda takes over (or the lack of it) and what starts of being a blessing, ends up being a curse. Anyways, it's my own journey with it, I am being aware of using my wording/thoughts etc. in a more positive way, not beating myself up or feeling bad about it but it's definitely time to 'branch out' into some new avenues of experience in this existence, whatever the hell it is, instead of just the same old same old same old, because I know how easy it is for those 'illusory' years to slip by, don't we all?

BTW... My cherished GVG got shattered in a fit of careless packing... it's wise to invest in a case if you grab one Thumbs up although it had already survived some insane drops onto concrete. Recently have acquired a mighty on top of a volcano which are both superb, except for the volcano 'crinkling of a plastic bread wrapper' freakin' bag... maybe if I didn't break through it wouldn't matter as much but yeah, bag crinkles softly for a couple minutes after and it's not a 'deal breaker' but it's not super ideal either. It helps if you don't 'turbo suck' all the vapor out but nonetheless it's like there. Maybe I'm just being too picky, after all, it certainly delivers... but I digress.

It's strange to reckon my 'post' experiences with spice, it's always glowing, etc... the onset of of course without saying quite jarring. Less so with Changa, but I feel like I could maybe use a 'proper visit' or whatever, I've 'never been' and I'm basically just scared senseless, any time I catch a glimpse like I said I just back off. Without saying taking some time off from cannabis for me would probably be a good thing dmt related and whatnot. I remember once canoeing on shrooms after a huge RSO dose and being soo out of it and wondering... why do I do this to myself... But yeah. Every time after changa or dmt it's been beautiful, wonderful but I let so many more opportunities pass by, 'not right now.' Like I said, I'm not even sure if my stash is good enough anymore. I'm sure it's mostly fine, but also it's not doing anyone a service by sitting and fading back into the ether from whence it came Cool And of course, I get it too, it's not 'easy' by any means, I'm not trying to make it out like it is. I get the whole just do it thing for sure. I'm sure I'm not the only one, I hope not. I'm in a place where it's pretty heavily controlled (where isn't it?) and like yeah, it's looking like eventually if I'm going to want to dabble much more I'm gonna have to find some MH seeds or something because short of spending thousands on tiny amounts of raw material it's getting tougher and tougher - better people watch reality tv and mainstream media news, it's more comfortable though that way, but not really... Big grin

I saw a while back that registration was open so I signed up and after procrastinating for a while, here I am, hope it's somewhat coherent Twisted Evil Probably a lot more I could say, maybe I will decide to add more later or just go comment elsewhere.

Thanks for taking the time and wishing you happiness and peace!!! Very happy
 

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Curated_Thinking
#2 Posted : 11/19/2020 5:04:44 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 27
Joined: 14-Nov-2020
Last visit: 12-Jan-2021
Hello yourself fellow new guy. You're a lot older though since you've known about this place for years. I's only been a few weeks for me.

Quote:
better people watch reality tv and mainstream media news, it's more comfortable though that way, but not really...
I'm sure you, like I do, envy those people sometimes. They move through life easily while we choose this hard road of only accepting and telling the truth. When all people really want are comfortable lies. What makes us such sadists for all the negativity that comes with? I think they've actually figured it out. They really don't take life so seriously. That's how they move so fluidly through all this.
CURATED_THINKING wrote:
IF ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, THEN WHAT IS A CONTRADICTION?

**********

I HOPE AT THE END ON MY LIFE MORE GOOD WAS DONE THAN HARM BECAUSE OF THE LIFE I LIVED. I HOPE I ALTERED THE COURSE OF SOMETHING WHICH LEAD TO A GREATNESS OR WONDER THAT OTHERWISE WOULD NOT BE. I WANT WHAT WE ALL WANT, TO KNOW I WAS WORTH IT.
 
aethereon
#3 Posted : 11/25/2020 12:01:46 AM
DMT-Nexus member

New member

Posts: 5
Joined: 09-May-2020
Last visit: 13-Jan-2021
Hi as well curated_thinking,

Funny that as you were replying to me, I was replying to you. I wonder how many synchronicites go on in here. And I guess sometimes, ignorance is bliss, like Cypher said in the matrix.

My guess is as well that I am older as well, but probably not by all that much. It seems though, you're quite a wise/mature person for your 'younger' age. Often, age is just a number Smile
 
 
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