Hi everyone.


I have been an avid visitor to this place for many years now. I never signed up/joined the forum previously as I always gained enough information 'listening' and any questions I may have had had been answered via questions already asked. Thus, I never felt the need to join or post, a somewhat selfish viewpoint looking at it now but honest none the less.


I am very thankful for this forum and can honestly say I would not have half knowledge I have now in our chosen subject without it.


I have had just a handful of experiences but will start from what I see as the beginning


My first real experience was a few years ago now. It wasn't my first try of DMT, I had extracted once before, but through fear and inexperience of how to properly use the Vapor Genie I had never had anything other than a slight fuzzy feeling and pretty much gave up on it for a while. The next time, however, I told myself it was going to be different. I was to lose the fear and just go for it. I was much more competent with the VG and was brave enough to load it with around 45mg of clean spice, thinking if it takes 2 or 3 tokes, then at best I might hit 20mg in the first big long pull. Thinking back, I was either very naive at this point to load 45mg or brave.
I hit it well, I pulled long, I felt the warmth and noticed a whisper of smoke leave the mouth piece as I pulled away. I sucked back what I had inhaled further, holding my breath for as long as I could, all the while unaware and nervous of how much I had managed to take. A slight tingling and buzzing began to approach as I reached the limit of my held breathe. Whoosh! I exhaled, deep and almost instantly my heart began to beat like mad as I heard/felt a powerful ringing and buzzing. It was like an alarm was going off, metaphorically warning me of the mental evacuation that was to come. I remember thinking shit! This is powerful, I daren't take a second toke from here. It felt like a huge 'come up' and I felt scared knowing I was beyond the point of no return. I laid back on my bed, closing my eyes thinking; what now, crazy nervous as my heart still felt like it was going to leave my chest. Within seconds of closing my eyes my heartbeat began to calm down and all I could see was immense colors, moving kaleidoscopic colours. I was no longer scared. I thought back to some of Terrence McKenna's descriptions and it made sense. After experiencing this for a minute I wanted to open my eyes. I was fully aware at this point I was still 'here' and lamented on not taking that second pull. I sat up and looked around my room. Everything felt like it was alive, the walls seemed to be moving, breathing, it was like I could see the particles the walls were made of. At the end of my bed was a big double wardrobe with frosted glass doors, but the glass wasn't frosted anymore, it appeared clear, I could see straight through to my hanging clothes. All the while I'm thinking; this is amazing. I turn around to look at a huge picture on my wall of a nightime New York city-scape, centred on the Twin Towers. The Hudson River was moving, flowing, the lights in the skyscrapers were flickering, pronounced, the picture was alive. I was in awe.
I lifted up my hand to see what effect the visuals would have on my hand. Detail. So much detail. At first sight it looked like someone else's hand, someone much older, but then I realised it was just the detail. Every crack and line so much more prominent, it was amazing. It was at this point I thought back to a time someone once told me to never look at yourself in the mirror when on DMT, because you will see your true self. That didn't make sense to me and it was a slight case of red button do not touch scenario, so of course I had to do it. I walked to the bathroom to come face to face with the mirror and myself. What I saw was similar to what I had with my hand, I looked so much older, only this time it looked like I was aging in real time with my face/skin moving down, almost like it was melting. It didn't freak me out, it fascinated me, I stood there for a good few minutes just analysing my face and the detail.
I could feel everything begin to return to normal following on from this and so went and sat down in front of my TV entranced by the menu screen of Farcry 3 which I had left on. If anyone is familiar with this they will appreciate the colors and visuals it shows. I was a little bit spaced out while watching this before finally coming round another 10-15 minutes later.


And there I left it, for some years, always somewhat lamenting I didn't take it further but always positive of what I experienced.


This brings me to today, where a number of reading materials, podcasts and questions from friends led me to reignite my interest in this unique substance once again.




And so the journey began. Again.




DMT Nexus. Equipment. MHRB. Extraction. Success.


After some further reading on here I opted to try the e-mesh method this time around. It sounded too good to be true and from my limited experience thus far, it really has been. I started with a 15mg dose to ease in to it and to test the e-mesh method. It went well, warm but smooth. Comfortable. I didn't clear it all as there was a bit of vapour coming off when I removed the tank lid and lit up the mesh. Confident I hit atleast 10mg though. A good start I thought. I had forgotten how intense the come up was. No CEVs or OEVs but felt powerful none the less. To be honest, it scared me a bit at first as it hits strong, quick. Once over though I felt comfortable and planned to up it a little next time around.


Couple days later, yesterday to precise, I loaded it up again with 15mg, this time clearing it all in one. Much the same as before, only this time slight OEVs. Pictures on my wall were moving, rippling. A very strong come up but a comfortable and pleasant experience after the initial onset. So much so infact, I decided to repeat the does a mere 15-20 minutes later. My thought process was to get comfortable at this level and the come up, before upping the dosage in the coming days. I expected a repeat of what I had just experienced. I believed I had been resest back to normal in that 15-20 mins, the mesh was cleared and so I started again.


Boy was I wrong. This was nothing like what I had just experienced. Again, hit it all in one, held, but within a few seconds I couldn't hold the vapour. Bang It was it. What came then was the most intense, scary and overwhelming thing I have ever experienced.
I almost immediately saw bright colours, everywhere. I literally didn't know what to do, so bright, geometric shapes, everything comes so fast. it was like I was traveling at light spread in a geometric tunnel with amazing colors. So erratic. Eyes open I genuinely couldn't take it. Nothing in the room made sense. The floor was full on moving, everything was, the room shrank, it felt like I became small and was in a doll's house. Nothing seemed real. A million thoughts just zoom in and out around your mind, I couldn't control it, I didn't feel comfortable. It was just so intense. As I lay down I began to not feel my body or that I was a part of it. It felt like I was leaving my body. I didn't know if I was breathing as I began to feel detached. I was detaching from my body like my conciousness was being separated from my physical self. It felt suffocating. I had to tell myself to breathe. I then felt my chest again as I breathed in and out, I stood up, to this time feel my body again, but I didn't know where to go. Nowhere felt secure.
I seriously didn't want to leave my eyes open at this point because the room just didn't make sense, it was too surreal, everything was moving so fast.
I sat back down with my eyes closed and in that moment it felt like someone, something, was with me. I thought I saw a shadow of an arm come towards me, I felt a presence. I turned away. For a good few minutes it was just so intense I couldn't control it or comprehend any of it. It was freaking me out a bit, it was just so overwhelming. I was definitely fighting it, to gain control again. Sat up on my couch I re-opened my eyes, insane visions still but then the craziest thing happened. The couch began to gently rock back and forth, it genuinely felt like 'it' was trying to relax me and let me know it's ok. Both hands face down on the cushions beside me, they felt so comforting. I calmed down within a minute or so of this and began to feel more in control of my mind and thoughts. I had relaxed, the initial all powerful onset had somewhat subsided and I started smiling and out of nowhere I just laughed at it all. I could handle the visuals at this point and they were just incredible. The room was make believe. It seriously felt like I was being made to calm down and relax, with the couch gently rocking like a cradle or hammock, I felt thankful, it's why I smiled. I remained like this for the rest of my experience, analysing, until, blink by blink the room returned to normal. At the end I took a big deep breath, thankful I had made it through unscathed but gobsmacked with what just happened.


I'm still trying to get my head around what happened to be honest and don't feel I can explain it all without writing 10,000 words. Even then I don't believe I could do it justice. It felt like I had a million thoughts and visions in the space of a just a few minutes, its like a day compressed into seconds.
It felt like I had a hundred people around me all trying to tell me something at once and you just can't focus on one thing, it's just so overwhelming. You cannot escape it.


I hope my introduction was captivating and welcome, and made sense, if only a little, maybe.


I posted a question in the FAQ section as I am not sure what effect the first 15mg had on the second 15mg shortly after, as they were quite literally world's apart.


Anyway, thanks for being here guys and I hope to be a helpful full member of this community.


R

Hello! And welcome to the Nexus, even though it seems you've been here some time It sounds like you've had some wonderful experiences. I really enjoyed reading them. I had similar experiences trying to get the smoalking method to work with a glass freebasing pipe. There were three separate evenings where I sat down to attempt the journey, and it didn't work, although some effects were noticed at times. Reading your report reminded me of the moment of surprise where I saw I had figured it out. I could see thick, cloudy vapor immediately fill the bulb and stem. "OK, wow, this is about to happen then." Right away, moments from blastoff, I just kind of knew. And then bam! I had to look in the mirror when I was done as well. A lot of people say not to look in the mirror while tripping. I'll look in the mirror any day, I don't care. It's hard work sometimes but I say it's good for you! I agree with your decision.

Hey Rep1 - that was an amazing account... wow. Scary but ultimately wonderful. I hope to be able to touch some of those places myself. I'd love to hear more from some of your next excursions.

Thanks VibeSurfer. It always seemed the toughest part to me, just getting to smoke it right. The e-mesh method certainly seems to be on point and super easy!

Thanks Allegro, welcome too!

Hey Rep1, I just wanted to say thank you for finally signing up and sharing your experiences, they were enjoyable and very relatable to read. I've actually had the sort of thing where the couch started rocking you back and forth specifically too, only it was a car and the psychedelic was mushrooms, and was alarming at first but then incredibly fascinating, especially after realizing that no one else in the car was feeling it. It's always amazed me how real-feeling it was and still stands out after many more years of tripping, so it was really cool to read about it having happened to you too.

I look forward to reading more of your contributions too.

Welcome to the Nexus!

As you have seen, the rabbit hole does go very deep, I don't think we can even comprehend just how deep

You can be sure many people have experienced something similar to what you describe, myself included, so yeah it makes sense and is understandable (even though we all know words don't do justice, our language is too limited to describe it).

Have you ever tried DMT orally? Personally I think ayahuasca/oral DMT lends itself better as a tool for self-development, because you have more time to go through the experience, to integrate it, and it is more likely to give you specific pointers on what can be improved in your life. I still find value in the vaporized DMT experience but rarely (for me) there is some specific lesson, it's more like, a shock to remind me of just how amazing and unexplainable existence is.

Be well!