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How has your life changed after your first break-through? Options
 
madmage
#1 Posted : 10/2/2019 2:29:03 AM

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So how has your life been different since your first break-through? Like with changes in how you view the world, or anything mentally (perception). Or physically (surface), like how you dress, job changes, interests, hobbies etc. Any examples are fine. I just want to see what you guys have to say. I'm at a mental crossroad, while I see the magic in life, having purpose and goals. At the same time all the trivial things in our society seem meaningless, I have this mix of loving my life and having it feel meaningless at the same time. As time keeps passing I just get bored with everything faster and faster. To compensate, im constantly mixing things up and trying to live with as much variety as I can, but then stability becomes a problem especially with me trying to get my degree, find a career etc. I've also become much more introverted than I use to be. I use to be extroverted, now I get bored with social interaction very quickly. I dont feel like talking a lot, or for very long unless its a very stimulating convo. I rather DO, Do things. Walking not talking; action. Which is fine for the most part, but idk if less of a social life is adding to my lows, or if its something else. Honestly it could just be my dopamine receptors, which I've tried everything to heal or be healthier, my doc thinks I genetically have less receptor sites, I wouldn't doubt it. But how much is perception? and how much is actual brain chemistry affecting me? So yea I'm just kinda struggling to get enjoyment and drive even though I have a positive outlook and find magic in this world.(at-least try)

Anyway I would love to hear from you guys! Thanks.

- M
 

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Eaglepath
#2 Posted : 10/2/2019 11:05:05 AM

I rather root my values in my own hallucinations than in society´s neurotic illusions..


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Before I was a monkey. Now I am a monkey god!Pleased
"Too cute to live, too cozy to die" - Eaglepath
 
madmage
#3 Posted : 10/2/2019 11:21:14 AM

$_A Picture Of My Brain In A Mind-Frame_$

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you were always a monkey god Pleased you just finally see it...
 
Eaglepath
#4 Posted : 10/2/2019 11:24:02 AM

I rather root my values in my own hallucinations than in society´s neurotic illusions..


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haha Jay Hanuman!!!Love
"Too cute to live, too cozy to die" - Eaglepath
 
FranLover
#5 Posted : 10/3/2019 1:04:14 PM

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My life has never been the same since. Perception permanatley altered. The scope is wider, and understanding (of any kind; scientific and metaphysic) is beheld through a sort of synesthetic capacity of the non thinking brain. That means no effort. It takes no thought and no effort to understand very complex ideas about science, consciousness, and the universe. Many of these are about the source of creation (birth) and the system of mantaining and furthering creation (say, the poles protecting us from harmful space rays, parents protecting children, humans watering plants)

Futher, these funny ideas seep into the brain as if some sort of outer force were at play; that force is the universe being met through stillness. That stillness has never left me. And because of this every day I learn further.
I never lived at all
until the thrill of that moment!
When my heart stood still.
 
madmage
#6 Posted : 10/4/2019 9:31:40 AM

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FranLover wrote:
My life has never been the same since. Perception permanatley altered. The scope is wider, and understanding (of any kind; scientific and metaphysic) is beheld through a sort of synesthetic capacity of the non thinking brain. That means no effort. It takes no thought and no effort to understand very complex ideas about science, consciousness, and the universe. Many of these are about the source of creation (birth) and the system of mantaining and furthering creation (say, the poles protecting us from harmful space rays, parents protecting children, humans watering plants)

Futher, these funny ideas seep into the brain as if some sort of outer force were at play; that force is the universe being met through stillness. That stillness has never left me. And because of this every day I learn further.


Interesting, I feel you on the way you explain how when your mind is in this "flow" state i'll call it, connections, understanding and or wisdom come naturally. I can relate in the sense that epiphanys strike me out of the blue with such clarity when Im in these mindsets. Though i'm in my thinking brain a lot, which I'm still very creative, have good information processing, able to form connections in seemingly abstract thought methods. Its kinda like I can feed that altered perception and wide scope to my logical/reasoning/thinking brain to add some contrast. Do you feel like you can freely observe reality or your own thoughts and mind from a range of different perspectives? Also was your change very drastic? Or was it gradual?
 
FranLover
#7 Posted : 10/4/2019 7:03:43 PM

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madmage wrote:
Its kinda like I can feed that altered perception and wide scope to my logical/reasoning/thinking brain to add some contrast.


Yes, there's definitley some of that going on !

madmage wrote:
Do you feel like you can freely observe reality or your own thoughts and mind from a range of different perspectives? Also was your change very drastic? Or was it gradual?


Yes, precisley that ! And when observing something the right perspective is what will grant insight.

For me it has been gradual perhaps...for you?
I never lived at all
until the thrill of that moment!
When my heart stood still.
 
madmage
#8 Posted : 10/4/2019 8:42:41 PM

$_A Picture Of My Brain In A Mind-Frame_$

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FranLover wrote:
madmage wrote:
Its kinda like I can feed that altered perception and wide scope to my logical/reasoning/thinking brain to add some contrast.


Yes, there's definitley some of that going on !

madmage wrote:
Do you feel like you can freely observe reality or your own thoughts and mind from a range of different perspectives? Also was your change very drastic? Or was it gradual?


Yes, precisley that ! And when observing something the right perspective is what will grant insight.

For me it has been gradual perhaps...for you?


Right makes a lot of sense. Definitely gradual, a journey with a lot of twists and turns, it was never meant to be easy, I've got pushed to points I never thought I could handle, and forcibly pulled back on course when I strayed too far.
 
Xfce4
#9 Posted : 10/7/2019 8:57:00 PM
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madmage wrote:
...
Right makes a lot of sense. Definitely gradual, a journey with a lot of twists and turns, it was never meant to be easy, I've got pushed to points I never thought I could handle, and forcibly pulled back on course when I strayed too far.


Why do think there is difficulty within the process? Why is it not easy and smooth?
 
xss27
#10 Posted : 10/7/2019 11:04:50 PM

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Irrevocably and irreconcilably with respect to modern life, as you allude to too in your post. I was already well on the path to estrangement from modern life even though I was 20 years old, a strongly introverted mind with a tendency to find more fascination with dreams and altered states than anything on offer in the waking state.

Whilst DMT was a revelation, it also wasn't. It felt like home to be honest, or at least a very real and true sense of nostalgia of not being identified with a body and being somewhere else.. it felt familiar to me. Or maybe I felt familiar to I, again? How can one possibly reintegrate back into the modern world after that sort of confirmation? It was not the end by any means, though there have been times where I've contemplated suicide (pointlessness, existential despair).. thankfully those moods pass, and I remember why I do choose to stay - to find out more about my being;

That is the irreconcilable part. We're here to find out about our being, to know thyself. Not to pay taxes or put up with trite conversation that leads nowhere! Sometimes I want to shake people, to shout at them, "How can you live without knowing! Without even asking! Without even investigating! Are you really going to leave it all until the final 5 seconds after your heart stops beating!". This caused me a lot of frustration and despair in my early twenties, and combined with introversion and lack of emotional ability (through language) it was also detrimental to relationships with other people. Needlessly I might add - it has taken me a long time to finally settle down and realize it is not our job to convince anyone or play God, to preach about DMT or whatever.. you have to leave it all alone. People have their own journey to take. It can feel quite lonely in that respect though, but then that is the truth; we are always alone (but never separate).

I work a job that is miles away from the magic of a DMT flash. Polar opposite in fact Laughing I've debated running away, going the off-grid route, hermit etc. But in the end your mind always travels with you so where else is there to go really, except in and deeper. Walking about the city I'm just another stranger and despite the anxiety it causes it's probably the most effective meditation (as opposed to retreating to a cave).. and also safer - they can't crucify you if they can't see you in their midst Big grin

If I was to offer any advice based on your post, trade up the pleasures - instead of physical pleasure (sex, money, travel etc), pursue more mental or spiritual objectives. They may take longer, are more subtle, but they have the benefit of being timeless like a DMT flash.

Sorry for the long ramble. Don't get a chance to communicate it that often.
 
FranLover
#11 Posted : 10/7/2019 11:32:05 PM

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Xss27 very beautiful stuff ^_^

The truth is we all pay for our ignorance. The person who is not curious, who doesnt know the way, the good path, will suffer because of that ignorance. To want to change stultified minds is an empathic persuit, cause we dont want their ignorance to cause them suffering, but the teacher can only teach when the student is ready. Most of what there is to teach is straighfoward and not that complex, but most people arent curious enough. They dont ask the right questions, dont listen the right way. Ive talked to people about pyschedelics, most dont give a fuck! When I was 15 I found a couple that had done LSD, I asked them all night about how it was, what it did, and listened for hours with total skepiticsm. I thought they were nuts! They had found the philosophers stone, magic, and no one knew about it? Lol, no, what has to be the case is these guys are charlatans selling some magic potion. Had I been more curious I couldve asked them to show me, dose me, and would have learned sooner about this. Then again I was such an ignorant confused child I think LSD would have destroyed me.
I never lived at all
until the thrill of that moment!
When my heart stood still.
 
madmage
#12 Posted : 10/9/2019 5:58:56 PM

$_A Picture Of My Brain In A Mind-Frame_$

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Xfce4 wrote:
madmage wrote:
...
Right makes a lot of sense. Definitely gradual, a journey with a lot of twists and turns, it was never meant to be easy, I've got pushed to points I never thought I could handle, and forcibly pulled back on course when I strayed too far.


Why do think there is difficulty within the process? Why is it not easy and smooth?

Because I believe if it were easy and smooth all the time, we wouldn't become as strong, and resilient. Getting pushed passed our perceived limits helps expand our limits, helps show us that we may be limitless, We have to adapt, we become more mentality fluid. Sure there are times when things are easy and smooth, and maybe its possible to reach a point in your life were things just become easy and smooth almost all the time, but if that point were ever reached it would be a result of major resilience and gained perspective from years of hardships to overcome and challenges, mental battles after so many victories, there is no more fighting and peace becomes your reward. So no I don't believe it would be possible for a persons entire life, birth to death to feel easy and smooth, nor would it be beneficial. There is a reason things are the way they are.
 
Xfce4
#13 Posted : 10/9/2019 6:27:26 PM
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madmage wrote:
Xfce4 wrote:
madmage wrote:
...
Right makes a lot of sense. Definitely gradual, a journey with a lot of twists and turns, it was never meant to be easy, I've got pushed to points I never thought I could handle, and forcibly pulled back on course when I strayed too far.


Why do think there is difficulty within the process? Why is it not easy and smooth?

Because I believe if it were easy and smooth all the time, we wouldn't become as strong, and resilient. Getting pushed passed our perceived limits helps expand our limits, helps show us that we may be limitless, We have to adapt, we become more mentality fluid. Sure there are times when things are easy and smooth, and maybe its possible to reach a point in your life were things just become easy and smooth almost all the time, but if that point were ever reached it would be a result of major resilience and gained perspective from years of hardships to overcome and challenges, mental battles after so many victories, there is no more fighting and peace becomes your reward. So no I don't believe it would be possible for a persons entire life, birth to death to feel easy and smooth, nor would it be beneficial. There is a reason things are the way they are.


I understand your point. In terms of "humans" you are right. We are limited creatures and the universal order is like this. There are rewards etc.

However I approach the situation from a different point. I consider God as unlimited. Then the question arises: "Why did the Unlimited created pain for us? If the Unlimited wanted, he would not make us suffer."

There might be a flaw with my grasp of God. If this is the case it would be nice if someone explain.
 
goddard
#14 Posted : 10/9/2019 6:50:48 PM

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I think what changed for me that I now know that what ever is happening in my life either positive or negative I always have the option to smoke and be in a " world " beyond description which now that I think about it can also be positive or negative but always awesome mysteriously amazing..

It also showed me that reality is mailliable and that my theories I had before I did it might probably have some reality to them..

I think the sharing if thoughts about this stuff has maybe even done more good then the experiences themselves...

My life still goes up and down but after dmt I'm not afraid of the outcome anymore.
“Close your eyes and let the mind expand. Let no fear of death or darkness arrest its course. Allow the mind to merge with Mind. Let it flow out upon the great curve of consciousness. Let it soar on the wings of the great bird of duration, up to the very Circle of Eternity.”
― Hermes Trismegistus
 
PleasureAndBliss
#15 Posted : 10/12/2019 1:22:28 PM
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Quote:
Sometimes I want to shake people, to shout at them, "How can you live without knowing! Without even asking! Without even investigating! Are you really going to leave it all until the final 5 seconds after your heart stops beating!".


This... It resonate so much in me. Am I wrong to put so much emphasis on understanding how my psyche works? I just don't understand most people. I'm not sure if this is psychedelics and drugs experiences or a personality trait? I just don't get most people view on life.
 
 
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