The reason I'm asking this is because many people are reporting instant breakthroughs with a specific liquids vaporizer and I'm using a CF Vape which is working but not so powerful for instant breakthrough, I guess. And so last time I tried I had a near breakthrough which was scary because I began to melt and lose control. This made me resist the experience and somehow stop it. I know you should let go, but it is hard. The ego suffers and resists its death.

And so people have reported that once you breakthrough things improve because the transition was the scariest part and now you are in hyper space without ego. What's your view on this?

I'm scared of the melting part.

My best advice here is to maybe sit and reflect and meditate next time you decide to blast off.

Even in an instant breakthrough scenario I have still found myself tense. But reflecting on your thoughts and intentions can put your mind at ease, making it easier to let go in the moment.

Something I've always told newbies that have come to me for experience is that you really only have yourself to fear. I've always managed to come back.

Go into the melting. Allow it to happen. The fear will come in and feel almost maddening. I have felt like screaming in terror to be honest. It can feel so intense!

When I have felt as if I was losing my mind and could no longer take it is when it changes. Like the fear has a peak and cannot be sustained. I found that I would have feelings of regret, remorse, and flooded with memories both positive and negative. Like a life review. Watching my whole life play out back into the present moment where I am experiencing this fear. Suddenly I am watching myself. Like an out of body experience. This perspective change is powerful. Watching myself in pain and fear is hard. I begin to have extreme feelings of love for this poor soul in pain. It is in this moment that the feelings of dread and paralyzing fear completely disappear. Replaced by acceptance and love.

I have thought about this experience many times. What I take out of it is that when I was able to watch this life play out, I began to understand why this poor soul was on the floor in pain. There was a definite understanding. The perspective change allowed me to see something that is within me. All this pain and fear and anguish was driven by a misunderstanding of sorts. I could see so clearly why everything was the way it was. In doing so I found acceptance and gratitude. I felt loved! I felt understood and validated.

I struggled with this fear for quite some time. Over and over I have been on the brink of insanity with fear during an experience. It always comes down to acceptance and gratitude for me. I now look in the mirror and see the pain I was causing in my life. I see the fear that I created. I see the why. I understand!! I get it all of the sudden. So I start to really love the person I am. I accept everything!

It took me a long time thinking about this stuff. I am somewhat reluctant in saying all this as it feels like it should be embarassing. I see this as just a little more fear and something I need to address now by saying this. Yes... I struggled a lot with fear and DMT. Yet I kept going back. Over and over. I felt like I had to deal with it head on. It wasn't until I fully integrated these fearful experiences in my real life that I began to see improvement in both my DMT experiences and my life.

I find that fear doesn't play into my experiences lately. If it comes in, I feel like I remember what the fear is and know what to do with it now. It doesn't have that control. What has control in my life and in my DMT experiences now is acceptance and gratitude! I feel like I have died 100's of times. I love the life that I had each time I died. I wanted it back! When I began to feel my fingers and body again, gratitude would wash over me.

I remember this in every moment of my life now. This gratitude!! Tomorrow is a promise for no one. I know on my death bed I want to feel gratitude and acceptance. I feel I have had practice in dying. I now need to lead a life of gratitude and acceptance for EVERYTHING, even the fear, enable to die in peace. It's ok to let go if you know you did your best!

I like to breathe a lot. Even when I'm getting ready to go and I have no anxiety whatsoever, I just sit there and breathe in and out. Sometimes I end up doing this for 5 minutes, sometimes longer. Either way, just focusing on my breathing for a while makes lighting the pipe and hitting it seem as natural and subconscious as taking a breath and it's all good from there. I would suggest just trying to relax, and sit with it for as long as it takes for you to be ready before you hit it instead of having the mindset that you need to get into the trip and "do it right."

Interesting, according to Buddhism and meditation, everything in life can be controlled through breathing. I think before trying to blast off, I will repeat this experience to the same point I reached last time and just focus on breathing calmly and see how it goes.