Hey guys,

I've yet to have any kind of breakthrough experience on any entheogen despite weekly sessions for the last six months of varying entheogens. I admit that my dosing is often on the "careful" side, with an average mushroom dose around 2.5 - 3.5 grams, and an ever present evasion of smoked spice. This is why I'm going to do it and why I'm posting; I'm afraid. I need to conquer this. I know it has massive reward. I don't seem to cower in normal everyday existence any longer since these attempts, no matter the situation, but there is great fear in me still.

Tomorrow I plan to brew Ayahuasca for the first time. I'm not exactly nervous, but a bit excited and cautious (of course) as the nature of ingesting entheogens like mushrooms is typically much more rewarding for me than smoking DMT. This is usually because I'm allowed more "time" for my ego to succumb, or perhaps I really don't know.

I've come to really appreciate this community very quickly and have begun to pour as much back in as I can by checking for unresponded posts in the welcome area and giving advice where I'm actually "qualified" to do so. I intend to contribute to all the various and awesome projects on here (Hyperspace Lexicon!? ), as well as every individual that's willing.

With that, a simple blessing or words of wisdom or confidence would be very much appreciated for what I expect will be an epic journey tomorrow night. As much as I'm on a quest for supreme independence, I realize balance is key, and I greatly appreciate the support of those who I respect most. Which I might add, was less than 3 people in my life until I got here

Most of all, I'm appreciative that I'm no longer "alone" on this fantastically beautiful thing called existence.

Namaste

You will be fine..I worry often before I take oral tryptamines becasue I know where I am heading...but I always come out feeling better than I did going in.

Dont be too impatient though to go all the way with ayahuasca the first time..there is always other days and you will probabily feel more comfortable with the deeper visionary levels once you have some prior experience. It can be alot like mushrooms but also very different..but for me I always feel more confident in the middle of a heavy trip if I can look back on prior experiences with the plant/substance and trust that I always come back. Once I get to know something I can always start to trust it..even if it still rattles my nerves.

Good luck!

Dosing on the "careful" side can be rewarding as well. I'm a big advocate for dosing low, especially when you're unfamiliar with something. That said, sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and go deep You will be fine though, just do what you can to relax before drinking it. I wish you the best of luck!

Nice one Serenity!
I also am a cautios person, perhapss even more cautios than you are. It can be a dread, but better to start slow and build experience. It'S good to get familiar and to buil up trust. With Ayahuasca, three things have been typical for me so far:

1. A sense gentleness
2. Nausea/sick feeling
3. Visionary dreamstates more than colorful patterns

I don't know what you are planning to take, but ayahuasca seems to be less hectic and energetic than mushrooms to me, so that is a good thing anxiety wise i guess.

Keep us posted

Just remember, whatever happens, it will end pretty soon.

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the thoughts. I'm brewing now, and I have to admit; The smell of brewing Caapi is actually quite intoxicating. I find myself heading back to the pot for wiffs every few minutes, which I think is possibly the Caapi's way of tricking me into keeping an eye on it ^_^

The unexpectedly embracing aroma of brewing Caapi has got me real excited. I might just try the Caapi tonight since I won't be finished for another 10 hours anyway. Blew a lil' MJ on it for "luck".

I was expecting the need to avoid smell by keeping the windows open and what not, but even my friend finds this stuff to smell amazing. It's like an exotic tea.

It's been one hour and the brew is darker than Wesley Snipes. I presume this to be a good thing

Yes, it's supposed to be a dark emulsion. You shouldn't be able to see the bottom of the jar.

Best of luck.
I can tell you this: no-one ever regrets having taken ayahuasca.

As appropriate as it is to get nervous when thinking of smoking DMT, it's even more so appropriate to get nervous before drinking DMT, especially if it's the first time. After all, you're about to lure yourself into an extended state in which the complete unknown will happen (if everything goes as planned).

Have some blankets ready. Perhaps create a playlist that you can listen to if you decide music is appropriate. If things start getting too intense or out of control, good music can be your best friend to help you keep your bearings and prevent your mind from racing.

Beautiful


Good luck Serenity and start with lower dose first. For me even 50ml was a bit too much but I am sensitive to caapi I guess.

What is you plan ?

serenity, reading this thread brings me right to my first days with ayahuasca. although it was not so long ago in a way it feels like eons.
i spent the whole weekend preparing my brew and my mind for the drink. i sat outside in my back yard, palo santo burning while taking hammer to vine making the finest shreds with love and intention. although i normally hurry through life i was in a beautiful state and didn't miss a moment.

then the brew. the smell is lovely and permeated the whole house. it took all day and i don't remember if i ever left the kitchen for more than a few min. each stage was a sacred step and was given equal attention. i can vividly remember the excitement of reducing. the final act of love in which my dose was now complete.

then the drink. the blessed beautiful drink. that day changed my life forever. no i didn't have the most comfortable time by any means but what transpired was the beginning of a huge transition and healing that i feel has been for the most part completed this past summer. i am a new man full of self love and now walk this world with confidence.

serenity, i thank you for helping me take a min to reflect. i would wish you a pleasant journey but that isnt appropriate. you will get what is needed at this time. so i will just express to you my love and admiration for the step your about to take.

Global....THANK YOU. You really do know your shit The blankets, man. I perceived them to really help on my first mushroom trip. The most basic (and subsequently, ime, the best) security blanket is simply a heavy blanket

Marilyn Geist, I agree with dreamer. That was beautiful. Is it Native American orrr? Thank you in either case.

Dreamer, what do you mean; "What is your plan?" Why, to go to the moon, of course, and maybe past. But, if you're referring to an actual plan:

I just realized some maintenance work being done on on my home is to happen between today and Saturday, which leaves Sunday as my earliest day--not today. Still, I intend to try the Caapi only to get an idea of it's effects (as was suggested in many posts) tonight, and think it's best to post-pone Ayahuasca until Monday. Perhaps during the day, which other than the light of course I think would be best because everyone is busy at work then.

Olympus we see very eye to eye on all this and it's comforting. I'm grateful.

Onto the third and final boiling!