This is not a trip report, just want to summarize my psychedelic expereinces and ask if I'm doing something wrong. Overall I had 5 psilocybin trips in relatively short timespan (like 3 months). And either life changing properties of psychedelics are over exaggerated, or I'm doing something wrong, or changes happened but I didn't notice them? Tbh, some of my trips were just a mess, everything patterning, too hard to think, strange feelings and I'm coming down already. But I also had really deep insightful trips I don't know what to do with. I remember having ego death totally not associating myself with my personality seeing life as a joke, but tbh it was something what I kinda knew already but never saw with my own eyes. And returning to "normal" state was disgustingly easy. I repeat - at least for me (but probably for biggest part of healthy people) it's just disgustingly easy to ground and back to regular yourself. Even though I truly want to keep at least a glimpse of it.
But overall, I just don't know where integrate it. Like uhm... Now I know or understand better something that I didn't, that yada-yada-yada nothing is important blah-blah-blah everything is connected and so on. This is so specific, so unusual for sober life that only thing I can do is to hold this knowledge in my memory and keep living as usual. How to integrate experiences if most of what I got only makes sense when my brain chemistry is altered and the rest is so obvious I don't need psychedelics to realise it? And probably the most unpleasant question: aren't psychedlics not as life changing like some people describe them?

In my oppinion shrooms are as life changing as a book, literally. Its how you read it that induces internal change.

Another thing is that trips become better the more you trip exactly like playing guitar or writing...any moment that you do it you WILL learn. So obviously the more you did it, and do it with focus and purpose, the better you get at it. You have to figure out if 3g cubensis or 7g cubensis does it for you and many little things like if u want to listen to music, be out in nature, meditate, do gardening, whatever. Night and day. You can do many things on shrooms. Best thing though is to take a dose so big you become inmobilized and dont move for hours as here all energy is focused towards the inner dimensions.

When integration is necessary it happens! And will it happen if u smoke dmt. Shrooms dont get me there either if I dont really up the dose. But its really russian roullete.

You are doing OK! Just pay attention because "we are all one" is so much more than yada yada and if you are not thinking about it after the trip or it doesnt make sense one has not captured the insight very well. Because we all have had arguments with people. But if u get the message and think about it u never argue with people anymore. Or if you get the cosmic joke...how is that not applicable in life? to integrate into life the cosmic joke feeling so that you take nothing "seriously" which means never worrying...basically u aplly a couple of changes like this to life and u can really become hella enlightened, a better worker, artist, friend, husband, or father.

Is one happy during the day? Does one relish each sunset and full moon? How is one's relationship to others, to the self, to the world?

What relationship should one have to the world? Does one have a responisbility to nature? Am I born out of love? How can one live with love once one has discovered that in actuallity we have little love? That mostly are life revolves around us and are families and that we have no connection to our communities? So what is the fact of love and how can I live a life so free, so authentic, that one is no longer afraid of death at all? How can one solve the problem of fear factually, not conceptually, so that one really lives with no fear.

Is enlightment for one person enlightment for the universe?

Is to be loved by the gods our destiny at death or but an extremley rare chemical reaction which shows other dimensions and vistas and is only experienciable in this life?

But one must ask one's own questions^_^

So one has to actually apply the insight. I am not saying u have not

Anyway, I think yours is a normal response to shrooms...and dmt is definitley more shocking and delievers the message.

You can have a life changing experience walking down the street. Things internally and externally need to line up. Did you want your life changing experience to come out of the unknown or did you want it to correlate with your life. Like how you conduct life or finding a completely unknown passion. Honestly psychedelics are a two way street. The trip is as much based on the user as it on the substance present. Perhaps they aren't life changing to you now but maybe they will be down the road.

Edit: Thought experiment suppose you got a thought deep in your trip telling you to change a fundamental part of your life. would you wake up in the morning and say: Man I was tripping.?