Hello everyone.
I am nervous about doing my dmt. I have been trying to get my hands on it for about 5 years and recently I learned a technique to extract using mimosa hostilis. My extraction went ok , I ended up with a yellow/orange wax like material. While I know this is due to impurities I tested a small amount and got as far as the beginning of a trip kind of like a strong
dose of mushrooms, which I have quite abit of experience with as I suffer from cluster headache and I found tripping on mushrooms alleviated my suffering,but grew to love mushrooms, then learned of the more powerful dmt, which is extremely difficult to acquire where I live, anyway after testing with a small dose, I decided to have a much bigger dose while my girlfriend and here cousin was home, I popped to my shed loaded a big scoop of this wax stuff up and wow, I completely wasn't ready or expecting the power, i had really underestimated it, I started with these really intense emotions and a completely indescribable feeling,
mind blowing, boggling,tripping a multi coloured portal thing then blocks of yellow kind of like a circus theme rushing down a tunnel, then I this void of yellow circus themed, in which I felt as though there was a female presence there with me, all this time i thought i had died , when I was coming down I was still tripping hard and couldn't see properly as my shed was dark which scared me too. I went back in as though nothing happened I'd just been for my normal night spliff, but I was completely confused and amazed by what happened, I had to hide it because my girlfriend doesn't approve of drugs but accepts my cannabis use btw. Even after explaining about my cluster headache, I have abit of a coke problem and get paranoid with her when I'm on coke so she has banned all class a's. But my doing dmt is to help my addiction and internal problems but she wont get it , its complicated. Anyway a couple of days later when my girlfriend was at work and I was home alone I summoned the courage to take another big dose about 12 midday, I would try to explain this trip but it would take many more words, basically I feel like my girlfriend negative thoughts on the act of smoking hard drugs has a negative effect on my experience, shes gone out tonight with friends and I have a nice big dose left and want to do it but I feel anxious. Any inspiration out there.
Peace
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Here is a wonderful compilation of threads on the subject of preflight anxiety, assembled for us by the beloved jees. https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=83430olympus mon wrote:You need to hit it with intention to get where you want to be! "Good and evil lay side by side as electric love penetrates the sky..." -Hendrix"We have arrived at truth, and now we find truth is a mystery- a play of joy, creation, and energy. This is source. This is the mystic touchstone that heals and renews. This is the beginning again. This is entheogenic." -Nicholas Sand
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Welcome to the Nexus by the way. olympus mon wrote:You need to hit it with intention to get where you want to be! "Good and evil lay side by side as electric love penetrates the sky..." -Hendrix"We have arrived at truth, and now we find truth is a mystery- a play of joy, creation, and energy. This is source. This is the mystic touchstone that heals and renews. This is the beginning again. This is entheogenic." -Nicholas Sand
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Cheers man 
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Im'there' wrote:[...]loaded a big scoop[...]
[...]I summoned the courage to take another big dose[...]
[...]I have a nice big dose left[...] If you plan to continue with this path it would be wise to invest in a milligram weighing scale. Have you tried showing your gf the Nexus website? It would be best for you if you could build a constructive understanding with her. Breaking through drug war propaganda conditioning will require some sensitivity. Wishing you all the best in moving forward and leaving the coke behind - welcome to the Nexus. “There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work." ― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
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Thanks for taking the time to reply and encouragement, seems stupid but the negative vibes regarding dmt use by my gf effected the two experiences I had and I kind of was thinking about her while in hyper space which was annoying and distracting from what I was really there for but still a mind warping experience. Maybe I should just leave her  , Also I really just eyeballs my doses which is not wise I know, but what is the consequence of this ? Thanks
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