gldnrd,
Welcome to.the Nexus.

Having met my husband of 35 years at a Dead show, I really appreciated the values, vibe and honesty of your intro. I also love your user name and location.
It sounds like you have already begun to research and explore. There is a wealth of info and knowledge concentrated here.
Have you looked at the extraction teks yet? Are you in a position to be able to extract your own medicine?
Given the reality of the poisoned drug supply these days I would encourage you to maintain a steady focus on the plant teachers. . .create your own mental fire on the mountain. Don't become Casey Jones.
Again, a warm welcome to you as you join this not so brokedown palace.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU