I have been conflicted about when I should return to Ayahausca. As some of you may know I have drank Ayahausca more frequently than a lot of people have, specifically about 9 times stretched over about two months. During this time I learned a lot of important lessons and it culminated in my last experience that made me want to take a longer time to integrate it than the previous times. I faltered partially in this integration by returning to Marijuana which all of my Ayahausca trips have generally told me to avoid, but I have been exploring the parts of myself that Ayahausca revealed to me and I'm trying to bring that into my life as much as I can.

But here's where I get conflicted- I only really have one big dose left. It's been several weeks since that last experience and part of me feels like perhaps it is time to finish what I have and then integrate until I'm in a place to personally make my own brew. This current brew I have is from somebody else and it was somewhat of a rare opportunity for me to come upon so much of it. But then part of me feels like I need some kind of clear call, like a synchronicity or something in order to know it's time to go back in. So that's where I'm at.

I'm conflicted because I don't want to disrespect the medicine by overusing it, but at the same time it's the last of what I have anyway and it might be beneficial to have one last deeper session then when I do drink again it will be after I've brewed my own with intention and care. What do you think? Do I need a call of some sort, would it be jumping the gun to finish it off? How long should I wait?

I believe you must take time to reflect your intentions and be very honest about them. It sounds like you have lot of curiosity driving you. It's not a bad thing, but you should be honest about it when you go for the trip. I want to see more, I want to learn more, I want to sit with the spirits before we say farewell for an unknown amount of time. However you want to phrase it.

Another thing is that if you invite the spirits, you must be a good host, that you're not just calling randomly your friend because you feel bored, but because you really want to get in touch with them and appreciate their company.

It's all about how your spirit is aligned.

From what you have written I feel that you do have the respect for the medicine, even if there's a little impatience in getting further. Impatience is sometimes good in pushing us forward, even though it makes us more prone to carelessness.

Would the Lady appreciate more if you called her now or if you'd call her later? Or would she appreciate your effort anyway, even though in a slightly different fashion?

Good luck. I believe you got this 😉

IME: if you feel inclined to take it just to not waste the remainer, you shouldn't take it.

Best wait until you actually want to trip—of your own self and not because the opportunity is there.

Well, it isn't a matter of just not wasting it. I know Ayahuasca has a pretty hardy shelf life and I could get away with not taking it for quite a long time by which time I've probably have began making my own brews anyway. It's more like, it's just enough for the kind of dose I've been looking to take since my first trip (highest dose I've taken) and I believe I'm ready to return to that place now that I have more experience in hyperspace than I did then. My first time, while important in some ways, could have been done better. But that's ok because I wasn't experienced. I spent too much time freaking out. So I'm looking to come full circle and return to that depth level with more knowledge and experience now.

Yes I certainly am fascinated with the hyperspace and in particular, the way it seems to manifest for me which seems to be an amalgamation of all my wildest fantastical daydreams. It's very dungeons and dragons, fairies and enchanted gardens, awe and wonder, bravery and courage, ect. Like I'm a knight wondering a magical, dangerous, and beautiful landscape. The full spectrum of human emotion is present during these experiences.

As for intention, I often have the intention before drinking to be taught something new. Be it something about myself, the spirits, the world, someone in my life, and even hyperspace itself. I just love to learn and want to learn. And as much as I like to learn from it, I'd also like to be friends with the spirits, to enjoy myself with them as much as I'm learning from them. To speak to them on their level the best I can and they do the same so it can be a prosperous and productive exchange of interaction.

The only true hyperslap I've received was my first trip and looking back, it was probably more of a hazing. "This guy has never been here before and he's going to go this deep, let's see if he can hang and teach him some lessons". And they did, and I could hang and did learn. So once that was out of the way, subsequent trips took on a more friendly quality but not any less informative. Of course, it is always very intense and hard parts always happen but that is probably mainly the nausea. The nausea definitely accentuates the intensity of the headspace.

I think that how long you should take between sessions probably also depends on your intentions and the character of the experiences. For instance it it's about improving a specific issue in yourself and one experience has addressed this fully, you probably need a lot of time to integrate it. But if your intention is to learn about the hyperspace and the spirits themselves, then I think to suit that intention you go in as much as you can handle to learn more about it. I guess for me there's a lot I want to learn both in and out of it

My opinion is not very relevant as I have never drunk Aya. Strangely though my first instinct was from personal experiences. The 'screw it, I'll just finish the stash' mentality often led to regret.

This is true, but lately I've learned that once you get comfortable with the medicine and your general attitude is right, you don't need to hone your intention or the mindset so much. This is advanced, but something to look forward to.

This tends to be my experience as well more often than not.

One love

Personally, if I have reservations I don't partake in any psychedelics because that apprehension will show up in my trip loud and clear at some point. IDK, listen to your heart, sounds like you already know what you want to do. Peace to ya.