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an IV leap into DPT hyperspace (UPDATE: brahman propulsion//astral assault in the torture tetracube) Options
 
necromanteum
#21 Posted : 5/24/2022 5:14:52 AM

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MAGMA17 wrote:
I interfere in the discussion mainly to thank you and sending you love. Thanks to your last post I was able to unlock memories of my childhood that I don't know how I had completely erased from my mind. While I was reading what had happened to you I had a very strong blow to the heart and suddenly I said: "holy fuck". In front of my eyes numerous flashbacks appeared: my brother choking me with his pillow, spitting into my mouth, drowning me in the sea , and many other humiliations. The difference with you is that I was more than 5 or 6, probably about double that. Someone will tell me, why you have to be thankful, you have unlocked memories that hurt. In fact my brain has eliminated them to protect me, and in this moment it is as if I had made his work useless, in a way (a precious work to which I owe so much and which I thank). But I am very grateful to you, even if this is a totally indirect effect of what you wrote. I can tell you what my emotions are about it: I don't feel anything. And this, perhaps because of my approach to life, which probably might not be shared in this forum. But my explanation is this: we are animals, and there are universal behaviors, wills, instincts in common for all animals, and in common with that specific breed. And in this case, in common to the sex of that specific breed. The body of the crime in this case is "male domination". What happened to both of you, me and you, was undergoing the domination instinct of one human being male towards another human being male. As we were smaller at that time, we were very palatable prey for the larger specimens that needed to raise their sense of power. We were easy prey, children, but still males, and therefore bearers of "extra points" if dominated. It is an attitude that different animal races have, and it is specific to the male sex. Lions, dogs, monkeys do it. There are more animal breeds where it happens than those where it doesn't. Wanting to climb the rankings is normal, and it's something we all animals have in common. We humans have simply invented other methods to climb this ranking. More sophisticated methods. Who can not use violence because he is smaller than the other or because his morality would kill him, uses other means. For example, since for half of my life I was humiliated in a mean way (up to 15-16 I was very effeminate in aesthetics, clean face, more feminine than masculine beauty) I developed my own way to climb this ranking of dominance: the intellectual way. And going even more specifically: art. Mind you, I love art, it's what I live for, but I'm just being honest with myself ... what is the reason that brought me closer to it? I asked myself this question and my answer was this. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe not.


So your brother didn't humiliate you because it was you, specifically you. If another sperm would have won the fateful race and a different child had been born in your family in your place, it would have been humiliated by your brother too, because your brother did not know other methods to overload others, or he had not developed a thought who tried to go beyond these instincts that cling us to the animal world (in my opinion, that of domination is an instinct that is not only part of planet earth, but that's another matter, we are here, for now). So, as the user before me said, it's not your fault and it's not your brother's fault either. This is how the world works, quite simply. There are 3 methods, summarizing: either you use the animalistic method of domination, more rude, or you use the sophisticated human method of domination, or you develop an awareness and a consciousness that take you beyond all of this, and make you detach from these instincts, eliminating from your needs that of overloading others. Your brother (in the past I hope) is part of the first category, I am part of the second category because I don't have the balls to be part of the third. Smile if I said bullshit excuse me, I have always had my own crazy looks at what is going on around me.

I am sending you so much love, and I hope you will receive so much from the living beings you will meet on your way. I hope so from the bottom of my heart.


Thank for the response and sharing with me. In a way I'm sorry if I helped anything resurface that may have reopened an otherwise sealed wound, so to speak. If instead you're the kind of person who can and does want to deal with it, which is the impression I feel I'm getting from your words, then that makes me happy in some sense. Either way I hope the best for you in this regard.

If there is a detachment instead, as you mentioned, then that's certainly a position that's okay too. I certainly see validation in your animalist perspective. I've been a proponent of it myself at times. Particularly when I see a responses that hold humanity in such contempt and separate from nature, as if the things we do are so uniquely cruel and alien. The fact that a lot of us have the ability to empathize as a FEATURE (not the primary functioning mode, I would argue) doesn't mean that the acts in question are ALWAYS uniquely cruel, or alien to nature. Take the topic of whaling, and the responses that come up. Apparently spree killing and extinction via invasive species aren't things that have happened in the wild. I guess that would be more matter of ignorance than anything. But if you look in the wild, you can find corollaries to almost any human behavior. Perhaps the most contested of all is suicide, but barring that... I think you can pretty much find it all.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you again for your response. It's definitely a perspective that I tend to forget when applying to myself or individuals. I tend to look use the perspective only in terms of generalizations and group dynamics. But there's probably some merit to using it much more locally, so I appreciate the ability to add another dimension to the questions I'm wrestling with. That's basically the exact thing i was asking for! Laughing
 

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necromanteum
#22 Posted : 5/24/2022 5:30:54 AM

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Exitwound wrote:
necromanteum wrote:

Hey. I've been trying to make sense of my experience lately. It's been about a year and it doesn't terrify me quite as much as it did. But during some d8 edible sessions recently, a lot of the feelings and memories of my trip come flooding back during the peak high. And as much as I've rationalized things, and tried to integrate the experience overall, I still can't help but get this "off limits" impression that sort of takes over my emotional and mental state.


Hey, I've been integrating my experiences for years now. Trying to find answer to similar question, why does the God has to be so cruel sometimes?
I think the answer is in our limits. We are limited creatures, God isn't. We can't comprehend the infinity and intinity by definition contains it all.
The other question is - when I have my last trip, how do I make sure I don't end up like that?
Well the only way I think is somehow learn to see through ALL of this, ALL being an illusion and dream of one true God.

Congrats on promotion btw Smile


Yes, this was actually one of my earliest "revelations" and attempts at integration. I don't know if you've read the entirety of my intro (nay: my dpt trip report), but I've edited it about a few dozen times by now and I think it's basically close to its final form. One of the strangest after-effects of my trip was that for at least a week, maybe a bit longer, is that I experience an IQ upgrade. I'm not even remotely exaggerating either. This is something I've NEVER experienced from any other trip or drug. But particularly for the first 48 hours, it was like I was on a lecturing tour talking to anyone who would listen to me. I mean at points I was at the local dispensary, at the grocery store, online, etc... just going on and on about things I had never considered before. I was suddenly seeing all these connections in things and I tie it to the experience I had at the onset of my trip where I was experiencing the matrix bullet time mode of my consciousness. It was basically like I described it... a MASSIVE "neurochemical and electrophysiological burst firing in the serotonergic neurons". So much that I think all these new temporary neuro-pathways were formed, but unfortunately I couldn't maintain most, if not all, of them due to age, a lack of another high dosage psychedelic intervention, etc.

The reason I bring it up is, during this enhanced intelligence period, I came to appreciate my harrowing experience on some level as being kind of sacred and holy in some sense because how many people can say they've experienced exactly that? This is why I suggest you go back maybe a reread the latest version of my trip report, I've gone into an extreme amount of detail about the "horrible" portion. And I remember tweeting something along the lines of "ART SHOULD HORRIFY AND TERRORIZE YOU... because it is in discomfort, sometimes extreme forms of it, that we are taken to places where we've never existed and therefore our boundaries are by logical induction EXPANDED. and it is in the aftermath and new space that we can GROW". or something to that extent.

as a matter of fact, I wrote this whole crazy fucking prose like thing and uploaded it to live journal not long after my trip, if you dont mind and are curious, I feel I'd like to share it with you... and of course everyone else reading this thread!

https://buffoonalvarius.livejournal.com/431.html

EDIT: Oh and hey thanks for letting me know! HAHA.. no idea i got promoted. to be honest i'm surprised given my questionnaire, i was a bit cheeky and ignorant to all the chemistry questions which i think made for an extremely LOW impression Laughing i couldn't help myself though, i felt completely out of my depth regarding all the technical jargon, and some part of me lashed out like mischievous child lol
 
necromanteum
#23 Posted : 5/24/2022 12:44:13 PM

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another attempt at expressing the ineffable in 2d digital art (photo and simple render manipulations) thread: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...1141125&#post1141125 just wanted to share my art the forum. obviously inspired by my DPT trip.
 
walkingtree
#24 Posted : 6/5/2022 3:36:57 PM

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Hello!
Thank you for sharing this experience, it is absolutely awesome to read about. I add another compliment to your articulation and the intellect that comes through. Unless this is just you all the time… perhaps those neural pathways have been maintained! I especially appreciate your reasonings in relating what you experienced to Conciousness, as this is something that I have finally prioritized in my contemplations and explorations at this point in my life.
Thank you thank you!
 
necromanteum
#25 Posted : 6/9/2022 10:13:32 PM

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walkingtree wrote:
Hello!
Thank you for sharing this experience, it is absolutely awesome to read about. I add another compliment to your articulation and the intellect that comes through. Unless this is just you all the time… perhaps those neural pathways have been maintained! I especially appreciate your reasonings in relating what you experienced to Conciousness, as this is something that I have finally prioritized in my contemplations and explorations at this point in my life.
Thank you thank you!


Wow. Thank YOU for the kind words! As much as I had difficulty with the trip, I'm pretty sure I'd do it all again if given the choice. I haven't touched the DPT since, however, despite a few opportunities to do so. The trouble has been a massive trepidation that I'd get overwhelmed by dark intelligence again. Trip setting would have to factor heavily in that decision. Having a space of absolute safety, which would ideally provide an open, outside setting to explore if I got the motivation to do so. Like a private retreat, with lots of land, and no chance of any outside visitors. And I'd most likely add some really peaceful and "healing" music to the mix. >> https://youtu.be/UDNvu3RYmU8 << comes to mind... Mei-lan on youtube, who uses those Himalayan singing bowls.

But, I feel honored you liked the report enough to comment how you did, and I appreciate the time you committed to in reading it. I tried to give as accurate an account of the experience as I could, which is why it got so wordy. I guess I've been that way ever since I started socializing on the internet. When the game of matching wits is the only one in town,
you can tuck tail and run, adapt/overcome, or die from a thousand little cuts to these fragile things labeled EGO.

As for the whole "IQ leap" thing... it was a pretty wild after effect of my trip, to say the least. And perhaps I'm overstating the situation, but it was as if a fire had been lit beneath me. Massive amounts of energy seemed to well up inside me, like an open floodgate. I could barely sit still. Had to be learning, creating, discussing, reflecting, etc. My tv didn't see any use, post-trip, for about a month either.


Would've been nice to retain a more lasting impact. Amotivation, laziness, indecisiveness, losing interest in creative/technical/educational pursuits once reaching ego-stroking plateaus... all passive self-destructive traits that seemed to be fading in the rear view mirror of my life. The sad part is at this point, around 16 months later, my digital "art" output has slowed considerably (although on an small uptick as of May/June/July 2022). At least I have managed to keep the weight off, and overall I feel my trajectory has changed a bit, perhaps some lateral moves that, with a little luck, may provide opportunity for personal growth. I'll take whatever I can get. Big grin
 
Cosmic Giggle
#26 Posted : 7/13/2022 2:28:46 AM

Curious


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Last visit: 01-Aug-2022
WOW
I’ve had strong interest in this chemical for quite awhile. Around 2010 there was a surge of DPT use in my circle, but I never obtained any. I was very awestruck by the firsthand reports, and always wanted to grab some for my head stash but was too preoccupied with other chemicals. My interest in DPT was renewed this year and I’ve started researching it again.

Your trip report was great (linguistically speaking, not the tail end of the effects!) and has halted my interest more than any other bad trip reports from this substance. I’ve read an abundance of DPT trip reports (not just the reports on erowid) and this one stands out. I wish I’d saved the ones that can’t be found on the internet. Your description painted quite a vivid movie that felt familiar to certain aspects of trips I’ve had on other substances. Certainly not to the degree you spoke of, but enough that I felt I got a slight grasp of your mind space.

I’m glad you were able to pull through and wish you the best in any potential future trips. I didn’t read all the preceding comments, but read all your subsequent comments to the OP. I knew someone who was well versed in psychedelics and swore that DPT was the pinnacle of psychedelia. I haven’t been in contact with him for a long time now, but I still read his old trip reports on DPT from time to time because they make my eyes so wide.

He once stated that it’s best to dose big, not one foot in one foot out kind of thing. He said dosing big (200-300mg insufflated) allowed him to push past the negative effects (hypertension, anxiety, etc) with ease and enabled him to have nothing but pleasurable effects. Another person in our circle said “don’t listen to that” and to be careful. Although that person never dosed more than 50mg insufflated, so his advice wasn’t coming from a place of firsthand knowledge of big doses.

A small anecdote from a FOAF (literally, not just using internet jargon to mask identity): after snorting DPT and going into a public setting he walked out of a store in a strip mall and there was a military helicopter hovering right outside and he watched himself (OBE) get blown to bits by a machine gunner in the helicopter. Completely torn to shreds.
The friend of that guy, who I actually know, stated when he snorted DPT that he just felt “trippy” and it was like a longer, less visual DMT trip. I don’t remember either of their doses.

A minor coincidence: two days ago I listened to Hamilton Morris’ podcast with Dennis McKenna and Hamilton asks him if he’s had any correspondence with the Temple of the True Inner Light or experience with DET or DPT. Unfortunately (for me) Dennis’ response was no, and that he had only tried DET. I’ve always wondered what Terence would have said about DPT if he’d tried it.

The effects seem so wide ranging, dose to dose, person to person, trip to trip. It seems like this substance can be very unpredictable and effects can vary drastically even at the same dose when taken on different occasions.

Of all the psychedelics I’ve wanted to try but haven’t, this one tops my list. I feel like if I ever do get to try it, I’m going to get my face slapped off my head because of how high a pedestal I’ve put this substance on.

It sounds like you pushed well past the “one foot in” dose and got more than you bargained for. Am I correct in saying your DPT experiences have either been completely underwhelming or in this case, completely overwhelming? No happy medium?

Out of curiosity, if you were to revisit DPT (I wouldn’t if I had your experience), what do you think your dose and ROA would be?

Thank you for the effort you put in to this report.
*~
 
necromanteum
#27 Posted : 7/15/2022 8:38:35 AM

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i would IV again, and I'd probably do 100mg. i'm not sure i'd dabble with anything more than 100mg. mind you, I weigh about 90 lbs less now than at the time of the report, so... getting near 200mg would probably give me a similar experience as before, or possibly more intense.


I've had opportunity to take DPT again, but haven'y been able to pull the trigger. i literally had my syringe loaded, was in a nice comfy space and all that jazz but simply couldn't do it. where i would agree with your friend is that with the big dose trip i experienced no body load tremors or annoying sensations like air molecules being heavy, almost like feeling the "heat" of respiration just as if you had sprint a half mile or something. I imagine it's probably because the trip was so overwhelming that none of these other things can eve been processed by the mind. when you have such an over the top experience, it's as if you have no more room to process other things going on like experiencing your normal senses. that's my working explanation for it anyway.


as for my trips with DPT. YES, i would say my experiences have been either underwhelming or overwhelming. never a middle ground. and I could never get to where I wanted to go snorting it, and I just wouldn't want to put that much of it up my nose anyway. I would never IM because that is not pleasant, physically... it's like having a bad bruise with inflammation. "plugging" is definitely doable, but my experience was an underwhelming trip (my dose was only around 50mg tho). And the unpleasant physical sensations were present; body tremors, restless leg syndrome, tachycardia, etc... but with the added fun of becoming gassy. It becomes like a constant reminder of the ROA, almost like when you have to use a restroom but keep holding off because you can't get to one? It's a sort of different, but fairly similar sensation to that.


and i too would definitely like to find out if there were TEMPLE OF LIGHT experience reports. i feel like if there was such a thing, these would be the most profound trip reports out there. i wish i knew what i could do to experience an only HAPPY trip tho. to be completely honest, i have a personal belief at this point that my bad trips are the result of a negative entity attachment from my teenage years. i dont want to get into details because there's no hard evidence i can give to support this, and i know just how out there it sounds. the idea itself was something i never entertained prior to this trip experience. but in the aftermath, i've been able to connect dots from this trip all the way back to a time during my teens. that experience was the changing point for me; the point when all psychotropic experiences going forward were colored by paranoia, anxiety and the feeling of being watched. like a presence stalking about the peripheral edge of my instinctual alertness radar. and not just strong trips either, but even casual pot highs or mild salvia toking.


anyway, thanks for the kind words and appreciation for the effort put into trying to be as detailed as possible. it's taken a good 20-30 edits to come to a report that is satisfactory in its detail and description. and as difficult as the bad portion was, i wouldn't want to forget what happened if given the chance. the good was arguably as powerful as the bad, and it completely awakened a sense of spirituality and mystery in my life that I had tried to bury away with opiates. back in my teens I also experienced a rough LSD trip... nowhere near to this extent, but portions of it were not good either. When having an audible voice of a "dark entity" speak to me as clear as day and tell me terrible things, and then out and out threaten me (like literally telling me it could possess me and if that were to happen that i would "black out", and then giving me mental imagery of being cuffed in the back of squad car, lights flashing, and a forensic team pulling up to the house to process a scene where my entire family was murdered). That was simply terrifying, and at that point I had the power to remove myself from the situation by putting on some loving music.

The thing is, these were happening because during intense trips... i wouldn't do ANYTHING. I'd just sit in a comfortable chair and explore the mental / spiritual aspect of the trip by sort of sitting there like daydreaming or meditating. no music, or stimulus of any kind really. just where ever my mind / thoughts took me, in attempt to know myself better and use psychedelics to probe the deeper existential questions people often avoid.


as a last word, i do recommend caution with dpt because it should be fairly easy to obtain online. i got mine in the 2000s and kept it safe for a long while (climate controlled, in a sealed dark green vile, wrapped in tinfoil (to avoid light, moisture, and any other environmental factors). it's quite possible my experience is colored by the "attachment" i spoke of earlier, or just unresolved trauma from my life. i can't say for certain, although i suspect it's most likely a combination of the two along with other contributing co-factors.
 
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