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Have I wasted my life because of choosing bad profession? Options
 
blue.magic
#21 Posted : 7/16/2018 8:57:55 PM

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My perspective was that in order to be successful in life, one must find his/her niche or specializations and be really really good at it (10,000 hour rule). This would imply one has only one shot in life and if he choose badly, he is basically screwed up for the rest of his life since he will never "catch the running train".

This is why I don't feel very young - you don't have too many 10K hour periods to try (hell it took me 14 or so years to really master programming). You can be good in only one thing as there is a limited time to master and perfect anything, be it painting, running organic syntheses or running a restaurant.

... Or there is this parable of chasing two rabbits. If you chase one, you have at least a chance to catch it. But if you chase two, you won't catch any.

So my feeling is that I've let the one rabbit (programming) go and now finding myself in the field feeling like I won't catch any.

But you are right, this is probably a transitional phase. Psychedelics won't help much as I feel more chaos. I probably need to let my mind settle.

So thanks for the new perspectives, it seems I absorbed too much BS from the family, school and society, that basically tells you that to have a nice life, you must "be someone" and that measn getting a diploma, specialize in some business and pursue that carreer.

The good news is that even if I die now, the life so far was fucking great Smile I learn to take every new day as a bonus.

Okay enough ranting - I really hope this thread will be helpful for more people, not wanting to run an individual psychotherapy session Big grin
 

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CatPharm
#22 Posted : 7/16/2018 9:19:37 PM

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[/quote]

Yes programming skills are extremely useful but to do it for a money, it's no longer fun - you have to do what your boss wants (or what customer wants). And they usually want something that is really boring to do. It soon becomes as funny as janitorial work at McDonald's.[/quote]

Maybe janitorial work at Mcdonalds is funny, or laughable to some. Or maybe it becomes an opputunity for a man/woman just like us, who needs an oppurtunity, so they can feed their family. Maybe another statistic from the war on drugs whos just recently been granted parole and is now one step closer to home by becoming a janitor. Or maybe just someone who wants a stress free position and has found peace with such a "simple" life..

I guess its all a matter of perspective. Things can change in the blink of an eye, after all, were not exactly bakin girl scout cookies here. Wish u the best on your journey. Peace
 
thymamai
#23 Posted : 7/16/2018 9:20:25 PM

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I'm in the same boat, lady. Not gonna live forever, however much I wish I could. Can't do it all.. Time is so very, very precious, so we try and spend it gleaning and extracting the most enjoyment humanly possible from whatever is available at the time. Good for you that you are happy with your change, then. All the best.
 
blue.magic
#24 Posted : 7/16/2018 11:01:02 PM

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CatPharm wrote:
Quote:


Yes programming skills are extremely useful but to do it for a money, it's no longer fun - you have to do what your boss wants (or what customer wants). And they usually want something that is really boring to do. It soon becomes as funny as janitorial work at McDonald's.


Maybe janitorial work at Mcdonalds is funny, or laughable to some. Or maybe it becomes an opputunity for a man/woman just like us, who needs an oppurtunity, so they can feed their family. Maybe another statistic from the war on drugs whos just recently been granted parole and is now one step closer to home by becoming a janitor. Or maybe just someone who wants a stress free position and has found peace with such a "simple" life..

I guess its all a matter of perspective. Things can change in the blink of an eye, after all, were not exactly bakin girl scout cookies here. Wish u the best on your journey. Peace


I agree. Janitorial work can be very fullfilling for some people. I admire anyone who can work as driver, cleaner, selling tickets or doing any public service work and love it. It's not for me as a creative person so I used this example as a kind of work I would suffer in.
 
teotenakeltje
#25 Posted : 7/17/2018 10:20:06 AM

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you should consider yourself lucky that you're doing something you love NOW, and you even get paid for it. I assume you don't have kids so you can just focus on yourself and you have all the time in the world man! It also seems that you know which direction you want to go, that's worth something because lots of people (me included) have a hard time finding the job/occupation they love AND getting paid (reasonabally) for it.
To put things in perspective: I'm a cook who gave up cooking for a living because frankly, it's one of the worst jobs in the world Smile I was unable to earn enough money to support my family, lots of stress and lots of hours. Now, ten years later I'm doing a boring job as an office clerk with an avarage salary. But I have enough time to spend with my loved ones, and to pursue things I love in my free time.
Am I wasting my time? My ego wants to answer YES, you can do better than that, you could be more successful, blablabla....
But the ting is: it's not just about me in this phase of my life so I've learned to accept my situation and just see what the future brings.
 
Tara123
#26 Posted : 7/18/2018 6:41:15 AM

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blue.magic wrote:

Okay enough ranting - I really hope this thread will be helpful for more people, not wanting to run an individual psychotherapy session Big grin


It has been really helpful I've faced a lot of these issues myself (and still do).

You're not alone sister. Best of luck with it x x x
 
Simply_Me
#27 Posted : 7/19/2018 4:29:37 AM

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I get so tempted in this thread to spill my guts..Sick I will refrain from much yet say this:

I quite school and went counter culture for years. Later I changed my life around and got into IT, made significant $$ and found my self unhappy. Picked up a significant prison sentence for poor choices and after an awakening "chose happiness". People used to say "WHAT THE F@CK ARE YOU SMILING FOR?". I realized that happiness is not contingent upon circumstance. Period. It doesn't matter what you say or do after that. I am still human and have moments but if I can remain wise and not attach a story to it they pass fast. If I start analyzing "what if I did this then?" or "Am I making the right choice now?" or worse "That guy has ..., why can't I?" then I am setting myself up for suffering.
Life is short, enjoy the moment, each moment even if it is only because it is transient and will soon pass, rest assured it will pass so why panic? You are powerless to stop it. Live, Love, help others when ever you can, remember that all people are on their own path so have empathy and understanding not hatred and we will be fine. Do the right thing each morning and things take care of themselves. Situations occur and money gets made.
I realize that no one book, one person, or even one ideology will have all the answers. I believe my job is to remain open yet discriminating. My intuition helps me discern truth, and wisdom helps me identify malicious intentions.
 
Jees
#28 Posted : 7/19/2018 9:52:34 AM

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blue.magic wrote:
My perspective was that in order to be successful in life, one must find his/her niche or specializations and be really really good at it (10,000 hour rule). This would imply one has only one shot in life and if he choose badly, he is basically screwed up for the rest of his life since he will never "catch the running train"...
This puts the thread a bit in another light.

"I'm afraid there is not enough time for a second specialization" would have been a more accurate title? The word 'wasted' has drawn too much of attention I think.

 
blue.magic
#29 Posted : 7/21/2018 2:29:24 AM

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Jees wrote:
blue.magic wrote:
My perspective was that in order to be successful in life, one must find his/her niche or specializations and be really really good at it (10,000 hour rule). This would imply one has only one shot in life and if he choose badly, he is basically screwed up for the rest of his life since he will never "catch the running train"...
This puts the thread a bit in another light.

"I'm afraid there is not enough time for a second specialization" would have been a more accurate title? The word 'wasted' has drawn too much of attention I think.



Sorry it wasn't meant to be click-baity title. The title expresses my feeling from the situation.

Simply_Me wrote:
Life is short, enjoy the moment, each moment even if it is only because it is transient and will soon pass, rest assured it will pass so why panic? You are powerless to stop it.


Well the train runs faster every year and even the acceleration accelerates and it seems to me without very tight niche specialization, one cannot be successful and happy. We have more and more technology today and it's harder to keep up. One can hardly navigate this ever accelerating society without being armed without e.g. smartphone and a credit card. What will be next?

Is there a chance for a simple happy life without the fear of missing out?

It's like in the movie Shawshank Redemption where the today's world was so alien to the released prisoners that they commited suicide. They were finally free yet they couldn't catch the train. The world was decades ahead of them...

I fear some disruptive changes in the society, probably because of technology, will effectively deny us to be happy without working ultra-hard to keep up with the pace of the society.
 
Simply_Me
#30 Posted : 7/21/2018 5:26:13 AM

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Forgive me please Blue.Magic, I truly say this with love in my heart.

Forget the pace of society, don't you get it? Society has it mostly wrong. Look around, people are unhealthy, lethargic, sad sacs. Believing that you will be happy once you achieve "this" or make "X much money" is a trap. You will find out once you get "this" or make "X much" that it's only good for a short moment then you realize that wasn't it and you move the bar, "THIS" is what will make me happy.

Snap out of it. You will only be happy once you realize that HAPPINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU HAVE OR WHAT YOU MAKE. Really tough for me is knowing that nothing I say will get you or anyone else to realize it. You have to realize it for yourself. You already have everything you need to be happy. Happiness and peace exists within you regardless of circumstance.

Get off the train and play in the grass.

"That peace which is within us, we must experience it. And if we are searching for peace outside we will never find the peace within." - Prem Rawat
I realize that no one book, one person, or even one ideology will have all the answers. I believe my job is to remain open yet discriminating. My intuition helps me discern truth, and wisdom helps me identify malicious intentions.
 
AwesomeUsername
#31 Posted : 7/21/2018 5:51:39 AM

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I don't think you wasted your life at all...

Maybe you don't like what you did anymore, but in my humble opinion being that smart to actually be able to do it is already something that makes you richer as a person.

I've always felt like a dummy because I never understood programming, or chemistry for that matter, even though I was interested in both. Seeing someone who really does well with it, can work from home and not be bound to a 8 hours shift that starts and ends at specific times every day honestly sounds like heaven on earth.

All you had to do is use your brain a bit, which is awesome because let's face it doing a mind-numbing job will wreck your psyche way way more.

Now you love chemistry more, and that's also an awesome thing to do for a living, and also it stimulates the mind which can keep your brain strong well into the old age. Good, go with that. You are smart enough, and you can fucking do it. Be proud.

Take it from someone like me, who has destroyed himself both physically and mentally really wasting his life because of choosing not to chose a profession.

That's right, 11 years of school and being raised with parents that don't have any practical skills either, and couldn't teach me a damn thing about life because here they are pushing 50 still not getting their shit together. This has made me feel like a fucking idiot when it was time to really do something with my life.

Imagine being forced to move to a foreign country, not knowing the language and having no skills at all. Nobody would hire you in the first place, and even if you got a job, it would be the worst kind of job you could ever imagine. Something dangerous, dirty, possibly illegal, and worst of all mind-numbing and physically taxing at the same time. One day you wake up and realize that a robot could replace you, and even do the job better than you and what did you get out of it? Just enough money to get by, debilitating depression, and pain due to work injuries.

Worst of all? There's no way out, you have no money to get an education, you have no time to learn something at home, and even if you did, everybody want a degree, they won't even take you seriously if you say "I learn fast, and have motivation".

You question did you waste your life programming? Hell no, you had a luxury that most of us just dream about, to be flexible about your job and do what you want (or think you want), when you want, and how you want it. Be happy about it, appreciate that you still possess that set of skills among others which puts you in advantage in front of more than half of the population on Earth.

If I were you, I would never stop smiling, because having those set of skills readily available to you at any time opens more doors and opportunities than winning a lottery.

Let's say an idiot wins a lottery, what does he do? Blow it away on something that was fun in the moment, but tomorrow it became just a memory. What now? The idiot is back at baseline struggling to get through life.

What do you do? You explore your mind and put it in practical use, let's say your house burned down. You'd get back on your feet almost instantly, you wouldn't even panic. Whatever happens, just because of your mind, you're covered. You realize you don't need millions, but you got all the freedom in the world because for every issue, in your mind a solution is always just around the corner. Being able to do that is a huge gift, my advice is that you take advantage as much as you can.

I probably went a bit off topic here, but I felt the need to make that point. Don't take this the wrong way, however. I myself am also glad in my way that at least I could still take care about myself with the help of nobody, because I also saw someone else who wasn't able to do that, and in their eyes my life is awesome compared to theirs. Always remember that you could have ended up way worse, and be glad you didn't.
 
Jees
#32 Posted : 7/21/2018 2:42:09 PM

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blue.magic wrote:
...Sorry it wasn't meant to be click-baity title. The title expresses my feeling from the situation...
No sorry's needed, its just language.

I think it's a good initiative to bring up this (thread) kind of worries because everyone who is settled into a profession can, for some unexpected reason, fall out of his/her habitual boat any second of life, ending up with the concerns you have. It's a good discussion even if attention got dragged a bit toward a contingent descriptive term like 'wasted'.

This discussion rapidly evolves into how-to-be-happy so suggestions to leave the stress route are obvious. Yet... how if you still feel/want to be part of the work-hive?

People here say you shouldn't be worried/afraid etc etc.. Are the suggesting people (able to) walking their talk? I think we're not that easily salvaged as being carriers of human treats. We mind boggle as a typical feature, one simply can't switch that off at will. I do believe we can mediate the process, at best.

Being worried, afraid, uncertain etc etc is pretty normal and not something one should be 'healing' to be released of it (unless it's proportional excessive/pathological).
 
blue.magic
#33 Posted : 7/21/2018 3:38:28 PM

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AwesomeUsername wrote:
Imagine being forced to move to a foreign country, not knowing the language and having no skills at all. Nobody would hire you in the first place, and even if you got a job, it would be the worst kind of job you could ever imagine. Something dangerous, dirty, possibly illegal, and worst of all mind-numbing and physically taxing at the same time. One day you wake up and realize that a robot could replace you, and even do the job better than you and what did you get out of it? Just enough money to get by, debilitating depression, and pain due to work injuries.


You are right. I've never been so deep in the shithole of life so I probably cannot evaluate objectively.

However, I grew in a broken family, changed towns and schools, been bullied (because I was the shortest child and because being too "smart" or "nerdy" - kids hate that).

I had several aggressive step-fathers who were control freaks and quite into physical punishments. So much for the man role models Laughing

The computers and programming was not something I liked that much, but it was an escape from the dreaded family life. I only wanted to show my parents that I have some value and so they will accept me after seeing my success.

Well that did not happen but at least the biological parents were somewhat proud and even aplogize for fucking up my growing-up as they were too young for having a kid (me).

From your posts I feel like you would like to treat some perpetual depression, maybe looking up for some medical remedy (K, MDMA) that can be taken for a long time.

I found Kratom is something I like to take long term - the opioid effects seem to smooth out my stress/anxiety and provide comforting feeling - but it's quite addictive to me - also because I am a kind of workaholic.
 
Simply_Me
#34 Posted : 7/22/2018 1:41:35 PM

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Try Niacin (B3)

http://www.doctoryourself.com/niacinreviews.html
I realize that no one book, one person, or even one ideology will have all the answers. I believe my job is to remain open yet discriminating. My intuition helps me discern truth, and wisdom helps me identify malicious intentions.
 
blue.magic
#35 Posted : 7/22/2018 5:15:39 PM

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Simply_Me wrote:


This would be a better advice for AwesomeUsername I guess.

I take B-complex every day in a Dr. Fuhrman's Gentle Care formula which should get one covered.

However, I am a bit skeptical against the "silver bullet" remedies - I have seen so many doctors praising a single vitamin or supplement being the miracle solution for psychological problems and bad-habit-solver to a wide range of people.

What works for me is 5-HTP (a serotonin precursor). I take 100 mg and within hours and into the next day - my mood lifts tremendously. I am able to focus, be calm, meditate, read books without being bored after 5 words and do a motherload of productive work. Similar with Kratom...

Well I have a kilo bag of niacin in the shelf - I can give it a shot anyway Very happy
 
Simply_Me
#36 Posted : 7/23/2018 2:21:06 AM

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I don't like the silver bullet ideas either. I go for the whole health perspective and eat well, juice lots of greens/turmeric/ginger as a supplement for my diet, sleep, exercise, do yoga, meditate.

Happiness or suffering is created by your relationship to an experience, not by the experience itself. Read some of my posts in this thread alone, I've been through it and you've have too, we all have our "stuff" and yet I choose happy. I could lay down a list of complaints a mile long. Old stuff, new stuff, horrific stuff and still I choose happy. I would rather make a gratitude list than complain.

I read and thought you might try something specific:
blue.magic wrote:
I've never been so deep in the shithole of life


We are all unique and require unique amounts of nutrients and if after working with 5-HTP you still like you're in the "shithole of life" something is going wrong.

I believe and follow Occam's razor which in my paraphrasing is "simplest solution first" and based on that if you were getting everything you needed you wouldn't need 5-HTP. Please don't take offence because none is meant.

I realize that no one book, one person, or even one ideology will have all the answers. I believe my job is to remain open yet discriminating. My intuition helps me discern truth, and wisdom helps me identify malicious intentions.
 
blue.magic
#37 Posted : 7/23/2018 7:49:06 PM

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Simply_Me wrote:

I read and thought you might try something specific:
blue.magic wrote:
I've never been so deep in the shithole of life



NOOO that was meant to AwesomeUsername. I should have wrote

"I've probably never been as deep in the shithole of life AS YOU'VE BEEN"

I meant that I am not the one to judge as I haven't had as bad experiences as him, though I have mine too.
 
blue.magic
#38 Posted : 7/23/2018 7:53:14 PM

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Yeah. One problem is that I am constantly so low on energy I cannot do anything that helps - easting, yoga, even meditation requires some willpower to even start.

Exercising is unthinkable for me - it's several energy levels above what I can do now. Just getting up off bed is sometimes a heroic act for me Very happy

Then I put all energy into my projects and work and there is none left. People say I don't know how to turn off. They are probably right - I dive deep into my work and there is never time for anything else - I put my life and value and everything into my work.
 
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