After having serious burnout last year, I decided I don't want to do software development anymore.

Now half a year later, I found myself in a well equipped home lab and realizing I have not touched programming for a good seven months!

I loved programming though since my early childhood and was very good at it. I made quite a lot of money too... But the work was extremely taxing on the mind and body, stressful and what's worst, people were unable to even appreciate my work, since they simply didn't understood all the algorithms and architectures I designed. It was all hidden to them.

Since I was already quite into psychedelics, I started working on plant extractions full-time and some syntheses too. Now people admire what I do, friends are super happy to share experiences with my plant extracts (well it's not just drugs ), not to mention being in thriwing mushroom-growing community. It is all much more rewarding and for the first time in my life I feel true calling and purpose...

However, there comes a great remorse. I realize I should have studied chemistry or pharmacology instead of bloody IT.

It would now take years of HUGE effort to get even into basics of chemistry (analytical and organic), botanics and some basics of pharmacology - while going through university in my mid-30s. And what is worse, to basically throw out all the knowledge and experience I gained by 16 years of computer programming and math, thus staying always behind by almost two decades no matter how hard I will ever try... I know life is not a competition, but it hurts anyway.

What do you think? And do you have a similar story?

the classic "grass is greener" paradox..
my analytical chem colleagues are burnt out from production work, and consider going the programming route, because it pays well.
I don't have the patience. I'd rather be autodidactic and learn some code for a particular application, i.e.
macros for instrumentation. That being said, life is too short for regrets, and the academic model is archaic and overrated.
Eleven years of collecting equipment and instruments has taught me way more than any curriculum. And in the information-age, where a compendium of knowledge is ubiquitous on the internet, ignorance is never an excuse. You can always learn something new

Rejoice in the knowledge you have acquired through the years! The push away from a long career is needed for you in this moment. Something new is coming into your life if you allow the past to go in peace. Don't regret this long career you had. Let it be a stepping stone up to a higher level. It is only a waste if you choose to look at it that way.

I have had several careers in my life. I once heard it said that the average person has seven careers in a lifetime. That sounds about right for me as I am currently looking to change careers once again. I get bored easily with doing the same thing day in and day out. I look at this boredom as the push I need to go and find something new. It can be scary. It can be very difficult. The change in pay, the new environment, thinking about if this or that is the right choice. What I have found is to go where I am appreciated naturally. A certain resonation is present when I feel like I am on the right path. Communication is easier. I feel more at ease all of the sudden. Weight feels lifted. It's a good feeling to start something new!

Good luck in finding your new path!

Nothing is wasted if you have the right attitude towards life... I don't want to get personal but everything I've done until now has helped me be who I am.

We all have ups and owns and if we are lucky we get to follow our passion.

Programming gives you a great mindset for troubleshooting EVERYTHING. I've seen flow charts on this site, who could understand them better but you? I was there and I use techniques learned including Occam's razor often and appreciate the skills gained.

I have taught a few small classes and find that very gratifying while I do other things. I started that because I enjoy helping others.

on the flip side, the only one holding you back from anything else is you. I've spent 20 years in IT and that was on a whim @ 30. I had people say you can't do "this" or "that" and in the end I surpassed even my dreams. But it wasn't right for me. I did it because others said I couldn't and at 52 I walked away.

Today I do what I want most days, today was 18 holes of golf. Life is short, work takes up most of our waking hours. choose wisely

At 40, I'm in my 3rd "career"... ironically in IT.

It's all an experience. Nothing is wasted. Regret is for fools.

Enjoy your new phase blue.magic. Never look back brother.

Why do you need to study chemistry? It sounds like you're doing something fantastic already. We have so much information available on the internet. If there is something you want to learn, you can learn it there

Great thread!
Interesting and very relevant to me personally.
I changed careers many times and not for the noblest of reasons.

From a young age I pursued something that interested me intensely, despite knowing it would not reward me financially. I enjoyed it immensely, and still have a keen interest in it (organic chemistry).
By my late 20s I became annoyed, anxious and angry that my financial position was not the same as those of a similar age as me. I went through a flurry of career changes at that stage, with financial interests in mind. This was a mistake.
I bit the bullet and made a change to something that eventually paid better, and coincided with an emerging interest. Unfortunately it involved 4y of study, with no income - tough times.
I find my current career/family/mental state in the best position it has ever been. I'm very happy.
But I remember distinctly my frame of mind in my late 20s, early 30s - one of anger, anxiety and uncertainty. I didn't enjoy that mind set.

My overall feeling on the issue;
Pursue something you are interested in.
Ensure it can provide you with adequate financial stability.
Ensure it's compatible with your family situation (or planned family situation).
It's a bonus if you're chosen career has some flexibility for change, as your interests change.
Accept that your interests will change with age.

I'm sure you will make the right choice.

Thanks benzyme, DmnStr8, Simply_Me, Northerner, Tara123, leratiomyces. Especially for bringing new perspectvies. This is uplifting.



It's a problem of doing it professionally.

To do some chemistry-related job or enterpreneurship, one needs to have a diploma from school that trains people in that area so one can register a business or purchase certain chemicals (for which you have to have a registered business). At least in my country; as far as I understand.

I found some ways around, but it still feels not right. Maybe it's just the pressure of society which puts so much importance of having a paper on everything.

Actually I wrote software for GM and Intel not having any diploma (I am a drop-out ... not that the school was too hard, but it was boring and it I already knew most about programming and was much more fun to learn from books - same information, but no need to sit through all the classes).

A coding skillset is immensely useful; building frameworks for database management, etc. Bioinformatics is a huge area of study, based largely in Python and Perl.
Not to mention, if you start your own business, automation would require a good deal of coding. I kind of wish I had the patience to teach myself some for integrating things like LabVIEW into my own projects.
Nevermind what society thinks, it is rooted in an old mindset when inflation wasn't a concern, and manufacturing work
could support a single-income household. Do what makes you happy, unless it involves slaying people.

"Have I wasted my life because of choosing bad profession?"

What if the answer was yes, or no? Or maybe?
Change perspective and get opposing answers, it leaves one confused.

Have I wasted 30 years of my life time because of 2 relationships?
Same answer, change perspective and contradictions follow.

You have no idea how your life enveloped if you had done things differently. We expect it should have been better but you have no idea whatsoever because we like to think of temporary interests only/mainly. You could as well suffered mayhem when you think of all implications of a complete different life track.

IDK, I'm 49 and have embarked on a new career path informed by a newish worldview and idealism. Nothing worth having is easy to get. If it's something you want, go ahead and begin taking the steps to get it.

If you think you're to old to pursue something new, go ahead and write your epitaph, nothing's going to change between now and your date with the dirt.

Looking back and evaluating my previous steps can be pretty useful in terms of learning. Thus, I guess Northerner refers to "regreting my past".


@Jees;





"We" are peaking in every moment, even when I beat up my child, drink a bottle of sunflower oil or lovely care for my fellows. Mind is creating stories. Life is always striving for the best. Life is us.

Forever now.. forget the rest.

Love, tseuq

Offtopic:
[This is my first mobile device post and it took me almost 20min. Welcome to the 21st century.]

Blue.Magic - Dude, What I'm about to say might seem extremely generic and not realistic, But i truly believe it.


As long as you have good health then you are doing just fine and you're in a great situation with untold potential.


If you have good health, And friends and family, And have interests and passions in life Then you are in an extremely lucky situation.


And by me saying this, I'm definitely not trying to be judgemental and dismiss any genuine confusion or remorse or frustration or fear or uncertainty that you might have about your life and your future.


Now by going on everything that you've said, You seem to be in a transitional phase of your life. You're like a snake that's shedding it's old skin. Transitional phases can be confusing and daunting and the uncertainty of whether your life will work out good or not can feel overwhelming. Transitional phases can be scary, But it's also a time where great amazing things can come of it. It sounds like you've discovered your inner sense and are listening to it, You're facing reality and the facts and you're choosing to live your life in a way that seems more comfortable and natural to who you are as a person.

I can't offer advice about what you choose to study and what you should do with your life.


But one thing i can tell you is that for me personally, The last ten years of my life feel like a huge waste. I had medical problems messing up my life which lead to me suffering from chronic depression. My life fell apart and i felt as though i was destined to live a crappy life.


But a few months ago things have started to change for me, I've been feeling great and am optimistic about life again. And although the last ten years of my life weren't very productive, I'm just glad that I'm in a much better place now. It's as though during the last decade that my mind has been on autopilot, Just going through the motions of life. But now i feel like my mind is back, No more autopilot living for me. I control my destiny and future, I control my perception of this existence.

So although I'm 31 years old, I'm not depressed over wasting years of precious time of my life. Instead I'm super excited that i can actually have a fresh start and that my life is no longer a lost cause.


I'm sorry to go off on a little rant there about myself and my life and my current mindset.


I'm just sharing all this with you to let you know that you're not alone when you say that you feel like you wasted a chunk of time in your life. And just because you feel like you've wasted time, It definitely doesn't mean that it's ruined your life or your future at all.

The person you will become is the person you decide to be.....

The life you will live will be the life that you decide to live.....

I'm sure that you are just over thinking things. Just listen to your inner voice and learn to let it guide you. It will take you where you need to be.

There is an exercise of the mind that works great for me in case of big doubt.

Asking seriously to myself : "That is the very last thing I can do before dying... What do I want to do ?

In case that you want to take the time you need and try we would be happy if you decide to partake with us your answer. Keep it for you and we will be happy too.

To be honest, i get aggression reading this Thread.
You have one of the most valuable and portable skills on this planet. You can make a lot of money anywhere in the world. You can work for people, you can do your own thing.

Yet you complain because you not feel like doing your work.

Of course, if you are unhappy, then change your career. You can always come back.
But instead complaining, know that you are in a very very fortunate position at the moment.

I don't think anything should really be considered a waste. It's all experience.

I thought I was wasting my life when I worked meaningless office jobs about 20 yrs ago. I really thought that then to the point of depression. So I changed things, did some travelling, went to uni and got a degree and a further degree in a subject that left me with no career prospects! (It wasn't meant to be the case, but financial crisis practically destroyed the field I was studying) So maybe that could be considered a waste of a few more years (not me, enjoyed every minute). But I don't look back and judge it like that, it is what it is, just part of 'my' story, and here I am, now.

If you want to change things, change things, you can learn from the past but there's no point beating yourself up about it.

Indeed Woody, There's no point beating yourself up or being depressed over your past. The only thing you can do is try to learn from past mistakes and try to live life to your full potential.

[quote=benzyme ...start your own business, automation would require a good deal of coding. I kind of wish I had the patience to teach myself some for integrating things like LabVIEW into my own projects.
Nevermind what society thinks, it is rooted in an old mindset when inflation wasn't a concern, and manufacturing work
could support a single-income household. Do what makes you happy, unless it involves slaying people. [/quote]

Owning my own business is freedom to not give up my hard work to someone else. Back in my wage slave days filling someone else coffers through my labors I made the decision to move that way and i am never looking back. It means much more responsibility but at the end of the day it is something i created through my efforts and is a much more meaningful extension of my being. Happy? Not always but joyful and grateful when I remember where I came from.

Yes it looks like a dream job to the outsider, but in reality it wasn't.

In my case I was constantly overworked and in the end not even getting paid for months of work (because the customer simply quit the project and stopped answering e-mails) - this was the original burnout trigger.

Yes programming skills are extremely useful but to do it for a money, it's no longer fun - you have to do what your boss wants (or what customer wants). And they usually want something that is really boring to do. It soon becomes as funny as janitorial work at McDonald's.

I'm just an old guy that doesn't know anything about anything.

But I'd offer a couple generalizations and perspectives.

You're pretty young, relatively speaking. So, heading back to university would take time, but you still have lots of time afterwards.

About the job you left, you don't necessarily need to leave your career by leaving your job. There's a big difference. Perhaps you could look at different opportunities, and if you happened to find something, you could make it a different and more rewarding opportunity. I remember one comment - we get job satisfaction when we see customers using our products in useful ways.

Lastly, money does matter. Now and in the future.

I see and read your posts, blue.magic. You are obviously bright, you communicate clearly, and you care.

Employers like those attributes. Quite a lot. So do customers, should you end up running your own business.

So, not to give advice, but I'd advise this: Believe in yourself.