So for about a year DMT has really interested me, I've spent hours on these forums reading experiences and I've always looked forward to trying it.

I haven't really done many psychedelics but I have had some experiences and I recently got my hands on some DMT.

1st try: In my room, alone I did 10mg, it was so beautiful, I didn't have visuals besides from the walls breathing (barely though) but I spent 10 minutes telling my pillow how much I loved it and hugging it.

2nd try: Again, 1 hour later, 20mg. This was so fucking intense. I could close my eyes and my vision wouldn't be affected, everything in my room had just become this geometric pattern. But I also felt like I was being watched, some of the shapes I saw looked like eyes and I started to feel really uncomfortable. I felt like I was losing my sense of self and I had already lost all sense of time and this was pretty scary. Halfway through I opened my body up (as I was completely closed as if I was naked in front of someone) and tried to tell myself to give myself to the molecule and to trust it. I felt this higher power but I couldn't trust it. It wasn't good, it wasn't evil either, but it also wanted me to feel this pain, almost like a test.

After that, I didn't know whether I liked my experience or not. I couldn't describe it as anything but weird and I couldn't decide whether to try again or if it was just too weird for me. An hour later I was bored and wanted to try again.

3rd try: I loaded up 30mg and took the first hit. I instantly felt this really uncomfortable body load. My upper lip felt numb which gave the whole experience a really uncomfortable feeling. I was determined though and did a few more hits. Really I was forcing myself to do them because I wasn't enjoying the experience at all. I actually felt like I was hating it. The body load, the burning on my upper lip and tongue. No euphoria, all I could feel was my sense of self, disappearing and I hated it. I know I shouldn't fight it and I tried my best not to but I just couldn't stop myself. The more I gave up of myself, the more uncomfortable I felt.

I was really hating this because I've read so many positive experiences and I'm definitely not a negative person. I've never been depressed, I have a really stable mood, I'm always smiling and enjoying the moment in life. I'm slightly shy as I used to be really socially anxious but I'm not anymore and that's where my mental issues end. Bearing in mind I'm also 17 turning 18 in a couple of months so maybe I'm just too young.

4th try: I was reading here and felt prepared to try again. I was going to go for it. Loaded up 50mg and was a little scared but went in with a positive mindset and the intention of breaking through. I took one hit (probably about 15mg) and instantly, instantly knew it was a mistake. I felt this instant hatred for the feeling of being on DMT. I felt really helpless and like every deepest part of me was just shared for the entities to see. 5 minutes nefore taking the hit I was talking to my girlfriend about it and I felt so alone doing this by myself in my room. I called her and told her to talk to me, that I took a hit and was in a really bad place.

While she talked (which really did help) I would close my eyes and see shapes and things, I saw this weird alien, it wasn't scary or evil but I felt so physically and mentally uncomfortable that I forced my eyes open and just lay down waiting for the horror to end. Even an hour later, any hint of the smell of DMT just brought back really bad memories. Maybe it's just not for me but I really do want it to be. I love psychedelics. Now I'm okay, I feel perfectly fine, really just confused as to why my experience isn't good and I'm not even scared of trying it again. I kind of want to.

I feel like there could be a few things leading to my bad experience:
- Too young (but I do feel mentally able to handle it)
- Doing it alone, loneliness?
- Pain on my upper lip and mild pain on tongue and lungs from smoking causing a bad experience?
- Being scared, anxiety, holding myself back?
- Not taking those last few hits? Should I just completely go for it?

I'm going to try it again tomorrow with my girlfriend around this time and that will hopefully give me a better experience as I won't be as scared. Is this a bad idea? Does anyone have any advice for dealing with bad experiences? How can I enjoy this?

TLDR. Tried DMT 4 times, the last 3 times were medium to high doses but not enough to break through and lose my sense of self. I felt really uncomfortable and I hated them, so much that I felt like I poisoned myself the last time I did it and couldn't even bring myself to inhale from my pipe which was full of smoke. Should I keep trying? I really want to enjoy DMT but it's like it's telling me not to. Will smoking it with a trip sitter I really trust help calm me down?

I don't understand why you are taking larger and larger doses even though you notice that it is not doing you any good. Are you trying to force something to happen? That does not work with DMT i'm afraid. My advice would be to stay in the 10-15mg range and see what happens. If you feel inspired to take more, do so without delay and use the smaller dose as a stepping stone.

It’s worth having longer breaks between journeys. It is a very exciting tool to have at your disposal, but is not the best thing to fall back on if you are feeling bored. A chainsaw is not the best thing to make matchsticks with. DMT is highly unpredictable, it is capable of dredging things up that you thought were settled and dealt with, it is capable of revealing issues you didn’t realise you had. If you are looking to have reliably comfortable, “positive” experiences, you should probably find a different path. Sit back and think about your questions. You have the answers.

I felt that the doses I was taking weren't large enough because what would happen is, I would be left in 'the tunnel'. In between reality and hyperspace, still self-aware and trying to cling on to my sense of self. I've been told it's better to just take that last hit to push you away from that self-awareness. Instead, I'm left in between full of anxiety and fear.

Do you think I should instead just keep taking low doses and become more comfortable with the effects and build it up?

Does not really match my experience....it can, in some cases but most of the time it has been otherworldly. Not to say there is no influence but much different to say LSD in that it does not necessarely pick up moods and whatnot. Seems to do its own thing most of the time. But that can of course be very relevant to your life.



Ok, here is what i'd do: Accept this state, your self awareness and everything that happens on small doses. "Feel" yourself into what's happening and fully and completley embrace it. I've had similar problems but they told me explicitly that "letting go" is necessary before i'm allowed to continue further. There can be a many surprises if you continue with a dose that feels 'right' for the moment and it'S also a sign of respect. Otherwise, you are more or less toying with the spice, trying to make it obey to your will (in that case: "It shall obliterate my sense of self!".

Yeah, so now that I've had a bad experience, no matter how well I convince myself it will be okay, a tiny part of me will always subconsciously feel nervous or scared. Am I screwed forever? :/

Should I take low doses and try to see what it's telling me and get more comfortable before I go big? I don't want a nightmare trip either. But I feel that the only reason it's negative is that I'm scared to let go of myself. Past a certain point wouldn't I just forget that and be okay?

Do you think set and setting is important with DMT like with other psychedelics or less so? Do you think doing it with close friends is likely to make my trip more positive?

Thanks! I think that's best. I'll get more comfortable with the experience. I do somewhat feel that it was telling me I wasn't ready for bigger doses.

I think set and setting is a lot less important than on other psychedelics especially when compared to something like LSD.

Doing it with someone you trust in a good environment might help you continue further through the DMT Worlds because the more relaxed you feel, the easier you can "fall into" the experience. But i've always done it alone. Always when i tried to control the trip it backfired. Like "going in with intent" as in asking questions...just imagine the response of a "colorful god nebula" shrugging his shoulders...and then continuing with what should continue.

edit: I even smoked DMT while crying out of sadness. It did not influence the experience as far as i can tell. It's like these minor humanly things are nothing on the grand scheme of DMT.

It is something I would like to explore so I'll take things more slowly, thanks!

Woah, when you do it can you do small doses recreationally? Or is it only really enjoyable when you break through?

I have never broken through (but once went straight to a ego death kind of experience that changed my life). At first, it bothered me and i was constantly asking myself "was that a breakthrough?" and "how can i breakthrough?". Then i noticed that this was doing me no good in terms of the experience and that there is a lot to be learned regardless.

So i can say that yes, sub-breakthrough doses have changed my life for the better.

I really enjoyed my first small dose. When I took a bit more (like 20mg) I did enjoy it but there was a lot of anxiety of going through ego-death which I've never gone through. I also felt like I was being watched by the DMT God and judged and this made me feel really self-conscious like I was being looked at in my most naked form.

I feel like overall, the effects of enjoying it and not enjoying it evened out on my 2nd time but for some reason, the 4th and last time I did it, I only took one hit, and was even able to stand up to go and get my phone after (so it wasn't much). But I instantly felt really dreadful, like I poisoned myself. I kind of felt this presence and it wasn't evil but it was mad at me for trying it again.

It is a very intimate experience, i agree.



What if "they" are not judging you, but are a bit troubled by you just trying to force it?

I had both, very loving and very "lonely" experiences. I'm not sure enjoyment is important. But it can occur on all doses in different ways.

I might have differing views about this than most.

I went with a heroic dose for my first dose, barring my first taste which i don't count as a dose. I did 3 doses in one ceremony. 50mg, 100mg (this one had problems, i.e. pipe broke), and a whopping 200mg. This is goo, and i do not recommend doing any of these doses, unless you are truly comfortable with what it may impart on you (IME, the experience doesn't differ past the 90mg mark).

I was pursuing DMT for a year before this ceremony. I was on the Nexus the entire time. I became a full member rather quickly and i was very active in forums and in chat, and after a while, people would assume i've had a lot of experience with DMT, even though i didn't. I do now.

I think all of this passion in the pursuit of DMT was what led me to have amazing, breathtaking, magnificent, utterly divine, bla bla bla experiences. I extracted and failed. A LOT. Once i finally suceeded, my first 100-150 trips were as described previously. I was pursuing it for so long, that when i finally went to hyperspace, the entities were like "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE FINALLY HERE! We've been waiting for you for SOOOOO LOOOOOONG!!! YOU READY!? LET'S GOOOOOO!", and immediately took my hand and showed me everything. Literally everything, all of it. Every time i smoked, it had something amazing and new to show me. Hence, a prolific trip report output.

I love the feeling of dying. I love the sensation of skeletonising. Of warping into things real and unreal. I've had moments which felt like unrecoverable psychotic episodes, bordering on true pure enlightenment. Which i realised after was the sensation of feeling everything all at once. The brain isn't well equipped to handle such high loads. These feelings i have described, not everyone will feel comfortable with it, let alone enjoy it. What you may describe as a "not good DMT trip" may be the trips that i love having. It's hard to compare what people feel. Language can be rather limiting in this regard. Someone might say they broke through, even if they just saw pretty colours and lights. Perhaps, to them, they think that's the breakthrough. I've talked to people who have only done 10mg doses, and which point i say "Only?", and they say that it was the most amazing magical moments of their lives. They rave about it, just like people rave about it when they do proper doses, and have actual breakthroughs. Which leaves me a bit skeptical. I may sound very condescending here (i'm not trying to be), but children are often easily impressed (we're all children, really). Lower doses alter your perception of physical reality. Higher doses alter your perception of self, space and time. Lower doses, your walls may dance a little and make cool fractals. Higher doses, you cease exist entirely, melting into the oneness of the universe. You must be comfortable with the idea of non-existence in order to fully appreciate and delve into higher doses. Be comfortable with the self, and with the idea of your self dissolving into nothingness. The more you dive into yourself, the more you realise that it's just a shell. A protective weight that is discarded at the moment of death. Working on your self means that you are able to ease out of the protective shell, even for a moment. This is what meditation is. People who hold on to their ego's with death-like grips tend to have the hardest time letting go. DMT is all about surrendering. Letting go...

Again, i don't recommend high doses, but it's the only sort of dose that i do.


Also, on the point about recreational use. You'll be disciplined if you go too far with it. Too far may even be one use recreationally. Boy, did i get an arse kicking.

Your post makes me wish i could smoke DMT again

That's really beautiful and it's honestly what makes me want to enjoy this so much. I really do feel ready now after taking many hours to write about and consider my trips in a more private journal and I hope I can come to enjoy this profound molecule as much as you do. I'll update how my next experience goes when I do try it again. Thank you for sharing.

This hasn't come up Dani, but it would be remiss of me not to mention it as I thought it.

At 17 years old your brain is still developing, a lot. You may feel like an adult but your brain is not that of an adult brain.

There are no studies about the effect of DMT on developing brains. This does not mean it will not effect you in the long term. It's well known that many other drugs cause changes and it's not an illogical extrapolation to think that there may be changes to your neural networks that are more persistent than you would hope. There may be some danger here.

It's just a word of caution. If you were my friend or family I would be encouraging you to leave it for some years and come back when you are a bit older.

Even though we should live in the moment, life is long. We should play for that long game.

Of course you will what you will. I'm not trying to tell you what to do.

Be safe brother.

I have missed the part of you being still 17 & I would agree with Northerner. We don't know a lot and it is better to err on the safe side. I'm also pointing out, that the age limit for this Forum is 18+ https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...itude_Page#Over_18_years

In light of this, i would say to keep living with what you have experienced for a while longer and then come back later. It might even be that the DMT entities try to tell you that smoking DMT at your age is not a good idea, but i don't know.

Although I agree with the caution and safety suggested in previous replies, I'm with Psilosopher's outlook. I'm glad I started with breakthrough dose because that idea of selfless awareness and universal unity followed by revolution is what I go back for.

200mg is rediculous though and I had had my ass kicked from 110mg forcing a big break from adventures because of introduction of fear that wasn't there previously.

Get a cheap electric plate vaporiser so you can control the output more precisely. If I were to cautiously recommend a course of action it would be to keep taking small doses and get used to that buzz. Try humming during the experience and let the frequency slide into one that compliments the buzz, then let it wash over you.
A more reckless suggestion is that you should have taken that 50mg mate.

Fear is natural, I've had a dozen breakthroughs and I am still nervous before trips, even up to that third hit.
You have to have resolve to not get distracted by the fast come on of that buzz and take that last hit.

That said, I wouldn't suggest pushing it. Approach with humility, trust your intuition and guard against egotistic descisions. Above all you have to trust the DMT, for me, as soon as I've had doubts that this experience is healthy, that is the moment fear is introduced to me.