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post one liner jokes Options
 
DmnStr8
#101 Posted : 5/23/2018 3:42:03 AM

Come what may


Posts: 1698
Joined: 08-Mar-2015
Last visit: 23-Mar-2019
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.
"In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
 

Live plants. Sustainable, ethically sourced, native American owned.
 
ETERNAL
#102 Posted : 5/23/2018 4:02:51 AM

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Posts: 204
Joined: 04-Mar-2018
Last visit: 14-Jul-2018
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face."
There is only this and now. What this is exists as one.
 
Oskar
#103 Posted : 5/23/2018 1:10:44 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 17
Joined: 22-Jan-2017
Last visit: 28-Jul-2023
A nurse pulls a thermometer from her pocket & says "Some arsehole's got my pen".
 
downwardsfromzero
#104 Posted : 3/4/2019 6:32:43 PM

Boundary condition

ModeratorChemical expert

Posts: 8617
Joined: 30-Aug-2008
Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
Location: square root of minus one
I was recently inspired to write some Shakespearean verse after being overcome by fumes emitted from a
current-sensing liquid which could be applied using a ballpoint-pen. High on Bic paint ammeter.




“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
 
Nydex
#105 Posted : 3/4/2019 7:11:08 PM

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Moderator

Posts: 634
Joined: 02-Dec-2017
Last visit: 04-Feb-2024
Location: The unfeeling, dark chrysalis of matter
Don't know what the source of this is, but:
Quote:
It's all fun and games until someone loses an "I".
TRUST

LET GO

BE OPEN
 
dragonrider
#106 Posted : 3/5/2019 7:16:05 PM

DMT-Nexus member

Moderator

Posts: 3090
Joined: 09-Jul-2016
Last visit: 03-Feb-2024
I don't know if this qualifies as a joke, but i think alex jones is going to be president of the united states one day. To american standards he's acting pretty "presidential".
 
FranLover
#107 Posted : 3/5/2019 11:45:51 PM

Long live the world in peace, prosperity, and freedom from suffering


Posts: 1299
Joined: 24-Sep-2018
Last visit: 07-Apr-2020
Location: I see you Mara
I met a guy at the bus stop today that told me that if I'd suck his dick he'd give me this watch
Todo lo que quiero es que me recuerdes siempre así...amándote. Mantay kuna kayadidididi~~Ayahuasca shamudididi. Silence ○ Shiva ◇ eternal Purusha.
What we have done is establish the rule of authority in silence. Silence is the administrator of the universe. In silence is the script of Natural Law, eternally guiding the destiny of everyone. The Joy of Giving See the job. Do the job. Stay out of the misery.
May this world be established with a sense of well-being and happiness. May all beings in all worlds be blessed with peace, contentment, and freedom.
This mass of stress visible in the here & now has sensuality for its reason, sensuality for its source, sensuality for its cause, the reason being simply sensuality.
 
downwardsfromzero
#108 Posted : 3/6/2019 2:32:10 AM

Boundary condition

ModeratorChemical expert

Posts: 8617
Joined: 30-Aug-2008
Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
Location: square root of minus one
FranLover wrote:
I met a guy at the bus stop today that told me that if I'd suck his dick he'd give me this watch

That's a nice watch, would you like some shoes to go with it?




“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
 
FranLover
#109 Posted : 3/6/2019 3:40:43 PM

Long live the world in peace, prosperity, and freedom from suffering


Posts: 1299
Joined: 24-Sep-2018
Last visit: 07-Apr-2020
Location: I see you Mara
downwardsfromzero wrote:
FranLover wrote:
I met a guy at the bus stop today that told me that if I'd suck his dick he'd give me this watch

That's a nice watch, would you like some shoes to go with it?


Thanks for the offer, but I have no feet!
Todo lo que quiero es que me recuerdes siempre así...amándote. Mantay kuna kayadidididi~~Ayahuasca shamudididi. Silence ○ Shiva ◇ eternal Purusha.
What we have done is establish the rule of authority in silence. Silence is the administrator of the universe. In silence is the script of Natural Law, eternally guiding the destiny of everyone. The Joy of Giving See the job. Do the job. Stay out of the misery.
May this world be established with a sense of well-being and happiness. May all beings in all worlds be blessed with peace, contentment, and freedom.
This mass of stress visible in the here & now has sensuality for its reason, sensuality for its source, sensuality for its cause, the reason being simply sensuality.
 
AcaciaConfusedYah
#110 Posted : 3/6/2019 6:04:22 PM

DMT-Nexus member

Chemical expertSenior Member

Posts: 1288
Joined: 22-Feb-2014
Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
I got some feet... today, only, I'll make an offer you wouldn't want to refuse...





Oh, no.... my dick is fine. I want that watch!
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
 
downwardsfromzero
#111 Posted : 1/16/2020 10:50:25 PM

Boundary condition

ModeratorChemical expert

Posts: 8617
Joined: 30-Aug-2008
Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
Location: square root of minus one
I was disappointed to find out that Instagram has nothing to do with ordering drug deliveries online (AFAIK).




“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
 
Metta-Morpheus
#112 Posted : 1/16/2020 11:19:28 PM

Fly with the sea birds and sh!t

ModeratorSenior Member

Posts: 960
Joined: 18-May-2019
Last visit: 15-Jan-2024
Location: The cool side of the pillow
ETERNAL wrote:
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face."


I love that movie!
“You think that’s air you’re breathing?” -Morpheus
“Whoa fellas, I’m feeling kinda bowling ball-ish.” -Leopold Butters Stoch
It’s got what plants crave. -Brawndo

Magic is here for us all to feel. Naming it isn’t what makes it real.
Running around for us all to know, noticing isn’t what makes it so... -Avett Brothers
 
hug46
#113 Posted : 2/12/2020 11:09:57 PM

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Posts: 1856
Joined: 07-Sep-2012
Last visit: 12-Jan-2022
My child doesn't want to eat meat. With what can i replace it? ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''A dog. A dog loves meat.
 
downwardsfromzero
#114 Posted : 4/10/2020 10:17:10 PM

Boundary condition

ModeratorChemical expert

Posts: 8617
Joined: 30-Aug-2008
Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
Location: square root of minus one
I found out today why they had to replace the set on "The Wizard of Oz". There was some wear over the rainbow.




“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
 
RhythmSpring
#115 Posted : 4/11/2020 8:21:33 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 1045
Joined: 12-Mar-2010
Last visit: 18-Feb-2024
Location: Urf
I was meditating the other day, and I *finally* arrived at the present moment!!!

Glad I don't have to do THAT again!
From the unspoken
Grows the once broken
 
Jagube
#116 Posted : 10/17/2020 12:35:27 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 1111
Joined: 18-Feb-2017
Last visit: 03-Mar-2024
I wanted to post a joke about sodium, but I was like Na, people won't understand.
 
Loveall
#117 Posted : 10/23/2020 5:17:23 PM

❤️‍🔥

Chemical expertSenior Member

Posts: 3648
Joined: 11-Mar-2017
Last visit: 10-Feb-2024
Location: 🌎
Did you hear about the Chameleon that couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction 🦎
💚🌵💚 Mescaline CIELO TEK 💚🌵💚
💚🌳💚DMT salt e-juice HIELO TEK💚🌳💚
💚🍃💚 Salvinorin Chilled Acetone with IPA and Naphtha re-X TEK💚🍃💚
 
downwardsfromzero
#118 Posted : 10/25/2020 8:54:54 PM

Boundary condition

ModeratorChemical expert

Posts: 8617
Joined: 30-Aug-2008
Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
Location: square root of minus one
I recently tried reacting thiazyl fluoride with tungsten - but let me warn you, the product is NSFW...




“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
 
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