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Whole life led up to This Moment... Options
 
tobecomeone00
#1 Posted : 3/27/2011 3:20:09 AM

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Hello all, Rain here...I've been a member of the nexus for a little while now, and a thread lurker for long before that. Some of this is re-used from my introductory speech, only because I feel I explained myself well in this area. I just felt the need to post my absolute FIRST contact with dimethyltryptamine. The realities and experiences that DMT have brought into my life are a priceless gift I could never have anticipated or hoped for. In general, my life has been very rough, and as the title suggests, it seems as if the tests I have been through were preparation for multi-dimensional experience. I wonder if anyone else feels this way?

After a 14 year trek through group homes, boot camps, mental institutions, rehabs, as well as heavy dependency on heroin, I finally kicked the habit of self-destruction at age 25, and began to channel this INTENSE energy to other avenues of my life. I started a metal band, based around the ideals of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and the future of mankind. This band was my saving grace, my redemption, my salvation. It was the reason I spent half my life in hell. And after a year of successful shows, awards, parties, etc, my little bro (rhythm guitar) decided that he and the drummer were leaving the band, and told me he did not want to continue with a life of music making. This destroyed me. This band was everything my life had led to, it was my LIFEFORCE in musical form, and I was dropped like a sack of potatoes. I had no idea what the f*** I was gonna do.

Roughly four days later, not to mention many tears and questions later, a friend I had not spoken to in 5 years, literally called me out of the blue. We began catching up, talking about spirituality, and the pineal gland, when he asked me if I had ever heard of dmt. I told him yes, and that I was definitely interested. Truth was, I had only 'heard' of Dmt. To me, the word DMT sounded like a cold, synthetic drug created in a lab, and I had never really payed attention to it. I had always been more into LSD and MDMA, thinking I had reached the height of psychadlia already. HA. I did two days of research (this proved to be laughable), and set a day to meet with him, and try dmt. What led up to this is not important.

My 'friend' and I met up on a thursday night, much to my nervous anticipation. Weather bitter and cold, my girlfriend was at work for the next 5 hours, so timing was good. (she is aware of my drug-dependent past, and would have flipped if she saw me hitting a 'crack' pipe full of DMT). My friend's best explanation of what was about to happen was "expect nothing, prepare to know nothing". This was cryptic and intriguing at first, but after a while, it felt as if he were stalling due to my 'not understanding' how this may change me forever. After deciding we should eat first, and upon returning to my pad, I saw that it was 6:25pm, 35 mins until I had to go get my girlfriend from work. Not wanting this opportunity to be lost, I turned to my friend and insisted that we proceed with the experience.

After taking "the machine" out of a little bag in his pocket, he proceeded to load it with roughly 65mg of orange dmt. After melting it into the neck of the bottle, he convinced me that the 3-hit breakthrough was the only way to go, and because I had no idea of the true intensity of this experience, I accepted this. As the lighter flickered, and danced back and forth into the steel wool like an egyptian goddess, I hit the pipe as hard as I could, once, then twice, both times blowing out incredible clouds of smoke. I attempted to take the third toke, but I noticed my lungs just kept filling to no end..this was a hint as to what was to come.. (friend later told me that it seemed to him that my whole life had been leading up to this moment). Well, after I exhaled, WOW. Within seconds, I got the strange hum I used to experience when gas huffing (i was 13, and in the middle of a swamp in louisiana, so give me a break). Immediately I was blasted out of my body, high into the etheral dimensions. Still sitting up (didn't know what position was best), I was TERRIFIED. Within a moment, I got the distinct feeling this was REAL, more REAL than the dream that was my life. As I launched up though shards of color-changing geometry and sacred symbols while sitting on the edge of my bed, I caught a glimpse of the blue four-armed goddess Shiva! I'm not even into indian spirituality! She was a beautiful glowing royal blue, and I remember thinking how well of a job human artists have done capturing this archetype!

As I past this being, out of no where, I was in a lush green valley, surrounded by green mountains. I was sitting on an indian style meditation rug crosslegged...but, I was not me! I had the form of a man, but I was made up of billions upon trillions of little rainbow strobing spheres! Looking at my body in absolute awe, I remember thinking "oh man, if this is what being god-like is, I LOVE IT!" Yet, I looked to each side, and realized that I was alone. This realization of having no one there brought the idea that I may never see my love again! Nor my family! I had died, this much I was sure, but I panicked. As soon as this realization struck,I muttered to my friend "I'm gonna puke" and as I laid back onto my bed, my spirit fell into another dimension.

As soon as I arrived, I was held down by alien beings, I could feel the hard medical table underneath me, but could not see their faces. These beings held my right eye open, and I could feel pricking sensations at different locations on the outside of my body. I could hear scissors snipping in the background, and realized my friend was with these beings...I looked up to see him dressed in a white robe, wearing a crystal quark necklace. He was mixing something in a bowl on my table, which was no longer a wooden table, but a stone slab. I got the distinct feeling of realizing that I was being healed on another level of existence. Yeah, a "friend" brought some dmt over and let me try it...but on another level, my friend was a spiritual entity, bringing me an elixr that would dispose of the toxic energies I've been holding in me for so long. I did not realize this until afterwards.

Once the molecule could tell I was beginning to freak out (I thought my friend had set this up with the aliens), it lowered me to a place where I literally had a conversation with my higher self...I was shaking, I was crying, I could not make sense of this beautiful, tremendous, appalling thing that is eternity in its true form...I was literally looking at a carbon copy of myself, except my oversoul glowed a gorgeous luminescence. It began asking me questions about what I wanted to do with my life, but the most amazing part was, It led me to the answer of my questions by questioning me...it asked why I was so sad, and i told it that it was because I had lost the band with my brother. It asked me why? In between tears, I stuttered "because i pushed him too hard, I was so obsessed with making it so I could do good things!" asked me what I would do if I *Had* made it big in music, to which I answered "bring happiness to my family and friends"...My soul smiled at me, winked, and disappeared, and I was back in my room, with my friend staring at me smiling.

The ride to get my girlfriend was a quiet drive, as was the rest of the night. I proceeded to do the normal 'human' things that we do, but things were different...every step I took, every breath I took, I questioned it...A deep intrigue which I have never been accustomed to, I could feel it traveling through my veins, binding itself deep into the cores of my DNA.. It was obvious to me that a gift of immeasurable possibility had been dropped into my lap, and with great power comes great responsibility. I knew deep in my bones, despite my terrible math/science/chemistry skills, (which are practically none by the way) I was going to extract, and continue what had been started on this fateful night. I knew that this was not only the beginning of a whole new life of existence for me, but it is also a way to aquire new ideas and ideals for our species, and I'm still learning, to this day, the possibilities that this substance holds for mankind. It reminds me of a quote I've seen on the nexus, "you don't find DMT, DMT finds YOU"...I believe this to be true. And I could not be more full of life. Thank you, EXISTENCE.


"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 

Explore our global analysis service for precise testing of your extracts and other substances.
 
obliguhl
#2 Posted : 3/27/2011 2:22:34 PM

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Beautiful!
Finding the "sense" in life again, finding reassurement, finding love....

You deserve it!
 
Global
#3 Posted : 3/27/2011 3:48:20 PM

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Wow, I got shivers from reading this one. Despite the epic title, I still didn't expect your report to be that good Laughing I'm really happy for you. I feel this one should go in that new quality reports section, but then again, I don't know who's in charge of that Rolling eyes ...
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
Once
#4 Posted : 3/27/2011 3:59:07 PM

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Great Report!

I'm always glad to see when the molecule has touched someone so deeply. Such an amazing catylyst for transformation, sometimes I can't believe that I am the same person that I was ten years ago. I am truly grateful for being introduced to DMT.

Happy Trails,
Once
All statements made by Once have no basis in reality, if reality even exists.
 
tobecomeone00
#5 Posted : 3/27/2011 5:18:34 PM

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Thank you SO MUCH you guys, I read your replies first thing this morning, and it made me smile bigger than a happy ending at a run-down, decaying massage parlor! lol! I agree so much on the change that occurs within the dmt experience...It even convinced me to quit smoking after 12 years! This, I never thought would pass. Thank you, Nexus, for being here for everyone! What an awesome community!!!
"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 
SWIMfriend
#6 Posted : 6/2/2011 9:05:07 AM

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A totally AWESOME report! Thanks for sharing this. As others have said...goosebumps.
 
Kookaburra
#7 Posted : 6/9/2011 4:34:01 AM

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Fantastic write-up. I really identified with a lot that you said. And I love the wink from yourself at the end!
"The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words, and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish." - Terence McKenna
 
tobecomeone00
#8 Posted : 6/12/2011 12:09:52 AM

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Yes, it certainly changed my life...I was able to shed the illusion of form, and allign everything I do in my life with The Self..Thank you for the kind words, it brings me good feelings knowing others can relate...Very happy
"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 
HermeticShaman
#9 Posted : 6/19/2011 6:33:36 AM

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This is amazing, man. I'm glad you were able to bring so much detail back with you. I've got some definite parallels in my life: serious drug and alcohol problems (sober now), and a knowing girlfriend who would'a flipped out and not understood at the sight of me smoking spice.

She has since tried it with me, though Pleased
"'Tis true, without falsehood, certain and most true.
That which is below is as that which is above, and that which is above is as that which is below, to accomplish the miracle of the One thing.
And as all things have arisen from one by the meditation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.
The Sun is its father, the Moon its mother,
the wind hath carried it in its belly, the earth its nurse."


-Hermes Mercurius Trismegistus

All posts by the above author, HermeticShaman are fictional segments of a fictional fantasy book about fictional psychedelic journeys and travels to fantasy lands of wonder and imagination. Any resemblance to real events, intentions, conspiracy to commit illegal activities, or confessions of illegal activity are merely a convincing way to build up an epic plot line, and in no way represent the lifestyle or actions of the man behind the name.
 
tobecomeone00
#10 Posted : 6/20/2011 12:17:08 AM

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How'd she like it?
"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 
HermeticShaman
#11 Posted : 6/20/2011 2:27:52 AM

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She was amazed and in awe. She had never experienced a mind altering substance, not even cannabis, in her life. I spent a few weeks educating her about what I was doing and why I was doing it. She came to accept my choice and then became interested in seeing what it was like.

In 5 minutes, I watched a chipper, talkative, hyper person say not a word for an entire hour after having experienced the life, consciousness and beauty of everything in a way she could never have imagined. After that, she's now interested to see what it can show her and push deeper into hyperspace. But through this experience and educating her, she now readily understands that this is no drug in the sense that she has understood other drugs, and it is a totally different animal from my excessive pot smoking, drinking and pill popping.

She sees the spiritual and cosmic implications it holds and it is truly marvelous to have shared this experience with her.
"'Tis true, without falsehood, certain and most true.
That which is below is as that which is above, and that which is above is as that which is below, to accomplish the miracle of the One thing.
And as all things have arisen from one by the meditation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.
The Sun is its father, the Moon its mother,
the wind hath carried it in its belly, the earth its nurse."


-Hermes Mercurius Trismegistus

All posts by the above author, HermeticShaman are fictional segments of a fictional fantasy book about fictional psychedelic journeys and travels to fantasy lands of wonder and imagination. Any resemblance to real events, intentions, conspiracy to commit illegal activities, or confessions of illegal activity are merely a convincing way to build up an epic plot line, and in no way represent the lifestyle or actions of the man behind the name.
 
tobecomeone00
#12 Posted : 6/20/2011 6:05:43 PM

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Dude, that sounds so awesome...seriously...My girl wanted to try it, but at the time I was using a lightbulb...she tried hitting it, the damn pipe misfired, she choked, I was like "nooooooo", and that was it...she got a mild rushing feeling, but thats all...6 months later, she won't touch this shit if her life depended on it....any suggestions? lol
"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 
HermeticShaman
#13 Posted : 6/20/2011 6:43:49 PM

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tobecomeone00 wrote:
Dude, that sounds so awesome...seriously...My girl wanted to try it, but at the time I was using a lightbulb...she tried hitting it, the damn pipe misfired, she choked, I was like "nooooooo", and that was it...she got a mild rushing feeling, but thats all...6 months later, she won't touch this shit if her life depended on it....any suggestions? lol



Yes, actually. Make some changa. Changa is a friendly, extremely effective way to smoke spice. That's what I did with my girlfriend. I made some changa using 4 grams of spice to 5 grams of this native american smoking blend. Though it is wasteful, for her first journey, I rolled some up into a cigarette. It's extremely smooth and easy to handle this way. This method also sidestepped having to use a bowl, pipe, bulb, or anything of that nature. I mean, she didn't even cough. 2-3 hits will get you pretty far, too. Don't underestimate its power! It's not necessary to use a base pipe at all.

I am pretty confident that if she got the chance to look at it in that form, handle it, see how easy it is to smoke, she may be open minded to it. It's much friendlier and frankly doesn't have that sort of junky feel that smoking crystals tends to have. With a long history of drug abuse, I'm not even a fan of smoking crystals in that fashion. Just not a proper way for me to enter into that type of experience.

Give that a try, though. It's really easy to make and you can choose what type of plant(s) to enhance with the spice, so there are a lot of options.

-Chris


"'Tis true, without falsehood, certain and most true.
That which is below is as that which is above, and that which is above is as that which is below, to accomplish the miracle of the One thing.
And as all things have arisen from one by the meditation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.
The Sun is its father, the Moon its mother,
the wind hath carried it in its belly, the earth its nurse."


-Hermes Mercurius Trismegistus

All posts by the above author, HermeticShaman are fictional segments of a fictional fantasy book about fictional psychedelic journeys and travels to fantasy lands of wonder and imagination. Any resemblance to real events, intentions, conspiracy to commit illegal activities, or confessions of illegal activity are merely a convincing way to build up an epic plot line, and in no way represent the lifestyle or actions of the man behind the name.
 
tobecomeone00
#14 Posted : 6/23/2011 7:59:33 PM

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Wow! OMG! yes! gonna scope the changa section!
"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 
Dr_Sister
#15 Posted : 6/24/2011 3:02:38 AM

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"you don't find DMT, DMT finds YOU"

I love it!!

On a similar note, once , when settling back into my body when the OEVs were just starting to subside, the thought "You deserve this" popped into my head, but it didn't originate with me.
 
HermeticShaman
#16 Posted : 6/24/2011 5:10:15 AM

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tobecomeone00 wrote:
Wow! OMG! yes! gonna scope the changa section!


Well, I am happy you may have a potential solution then! Have fun experimenting, I think you'll be pleased, and hopefully before long you can be sharing this experience with her Very happy


Dr_Sister wrote:
"you don't find DMT, DMT finds YOU"


Considering the time in my life and circumstances under which I had my first experience with the spice, I do not doubt this for one moment. There's a certain spiritual essence surrounding that molecule and it goes where it sees fit.

"'Tis true, without falsehood, certain and most true.
That which is below is as that which is above, and that which is above is as that which is below, to accomplish the miracle of the One thing.
And as all things have arisen from one by the meditation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.
The Sun is its father, the Moon its mother,
the wind hath carried it in its belly, the earth its nurse."


-Hermes Mercurius Trismegistus

All posts by the above author, HermeticShaman are fictional segments of a fictional fantasy book about fictional psychedelic journeys and travels to fantasy lands of wonder and imagination. Any resemblance to real events, intentions, conspiracy to commit illegal activities, or confessions of illegal activity are merely a convincing way to build up an epic plot line, and in no way represent the lifestyle or actions of the man behind the name.
 
antrocles
#17 Posted : 6/24/2011 5:05:12 PM

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beautiful report my brother. the path is endless and it goes endlessly deep. welcome to it. your old life is now complete and a new life of terrifyingly endless beauty has now begun.

be present. let go of old ways of thinking and judging. everything that you want is here now. the work to constantly stay awake to this is arduous...

...but oh so worth it.

with the deepest love and gratitude!
"Rise above the illusion of time and you will have tomorrow's
wisdom today."
 
oden
#18 Posted : 11/1/2011 7:10:32 AM

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To say I needed to see this is an understatment. It was a very tough time for me tonight. I feel the same about it calling me. Thank you soo very much. I have learned so much from the people here. And you are another one. You give me hope. To seek what I truly need to know. Peace and love be with you. Again thank you for the share
 
tobecomeone00
#19 Posted : 11/1/2011 6:10:27 PM

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Means The World. =)
"The search for Truth is the Greatest, if not, most Sensible form of Rebellion."

 
Chadaev
#20 Posted : 10/18/2012 12:16:30 AM

All the usual disclaimers.


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Wonderfully evocative posting, TobecomeoneOO.

It would be great to hear an update on the spice life. Has it remained transformative for you? My experience has been that each of us is still left with our human all too human selves, that liberation must be won over and over again, and that many small steps are needed to traverse the valleys and climb back up to the peaks. Being okay with that seems more real than wishing to be in harmony with my "higher Self" all the time.
 
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