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Dear friends at the nexus Options
 
ambi-lysergance
#1 Posted : 3/1/2010 10:07:23 AM

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I struggle to type these words but being a guy of expression I feel its only right to share this with you. my friends.

I am Unsure how to say this but Its something I need to say

some of you may have noticed a lack of activity from myself around here lately.

the truth is that only in the last days have me and my family been ripped apart by the most horiffic and devasting news that my big brother "raymond" has an agressive cancereous tumour in its late stages.

at the moment are waiting results of an mri scan to see if it has spread to any other organs around his bladder.
initial and frank prognosis from the consultant made him aware there is a very high chance the tumour may be inoperable.
Raymond also emergency heart surgery proceedure as a new born. so any treatment has to be carefully scrutinised not only by the consultant oncologist but also cardiologist.

he has been having trouble with his bladder for over a year now, doctors have been sending him away with anti-biotics and cathetars. last week he went in to renal failure (kidneys), it was through a routine keyhole type examination that the tumour was spotted and immediately labelled as not benign and in actual fact "aggressive"


I dont want to lose my brother, he was the one who allowed me to say phrases like "absolute gent" with conviction and credibility....simply because they were based on him. he is my hero ,

in absolute coincidence I am due to Dj at an event in Nottignham this saturday .All proceeds from this night are being handed to "Cancer research"??? a sad yet poignant snchronicity. this is due to the events promoter's epic and monumental memorial and support for the loss of his dear father to this unrelentless and uforgiving disease few years ago..

My brother told me to get down there and rip the place apart for him although its the last thing I want to do I will do t for him. it maks me more determined.

I will be wavering and donating all my travel expenses/fees for this dj set to "cancer research".



I am up and down at the moment, each day seeming ike a dreamlike limbo.

I dont think I will be posting as often at the moment. and my at first enthusiastic and eager support and contribution to our " CEL" has been de-prioritised as I am on auto pilot jut now.

Im not leaving, Its just my way of handling things. I need to rally around my brother and rest of the family just now.

but remember you are my family also. I hold you in an eternal high esteem and love.

Im just going to be a little quiet at the moment.
I will still check up here regularly just dont really know if I can or will be able to add anything usefull to our discussions due to a pre occupied mind.

I will bounce back If Im anything like my beloved brother, he is a fighter! and shamefully for me he is showing more stength and ressilliace than myself in this horible time.

I thank you all in advance for your undertanding and look forward to discussing and reading more with you another time.
ambi lysergance is a fictional character who in the realms of fantasy indulges in such topics as science, arts and psychoactive plant induced visions
 

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ghostman
#2 Posted : 3/1/2010 10:17:42 AM

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I wish your brother, you and your family all the strength that you need to get through this. I also wish your brother a speedy recovery! My heart goes out to you all, even though we've never met!
Peace in mind, Love in heart
 
idtravlr
#3 Posted : 3/1/2010 10:32:04 AM

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I'm sorry to hear that my friend. Just remember to stay on the positive side of things, as difficult as it may be. Hardship can bring out the best and the worst in people. Stay on "best" side of the spectrum as much as you can squeeze out. I can't say I know what you're going through, but I can say that I've been in similar situations WAY too many times for my age. I'm sure you have others close to you in the "real" world, but I am always open to lend an empathetic ear.

All the best of health and healing to you and your family brother.
-idt
I am not a drug addict seeking escape from reality. I am an explorer of consciousness challenging consensus reality.

…is DMT dangerous? The answer is only if you fear death by astonishment… [crowd laughter]… Remember how you laughed when this possibility was raised… a moment will come that will wipe the smile right off your face.
-Terence McKenna
 
Phlux-
#4 Posted : 3/1/2010 10:54:47 AM

The Root

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I have a younger brother and i couldnt possibly imagine anything bad ever happening to him - i really feel for you bro - i hope/know everything will work out fine.
Keep ur chin up dude.
antrocles wrote:
...purity of intent....purity of execution....purity of experience...

...unlike the "blind leading the blind". we are more akin to a group of blind-from-birth people who have all simultaneously been given the gift of sight but have no words or mental processing capabilites to work with this new "gift".

IT IS ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT WE ARE WILLING TO EXPOSE OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ANNIHILATION THAT WE DISCOVER THAT PART OF OURSELVES THAT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE.


Quote:
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Quote:
‹xtechre› cheese is great


He who packs ur capsules - controls your destiny.

 
joebono
#5 Posted : 3/1/2010 10:58:59 AM

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This is a tough situation for anyone to deal with. I'm thinking about you and I hope that you and your family grow closer and stronger in dealing with this.
 
endlessness
#6 Posted : 3/1/2010 11:17:01 AM

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all the best for you and your bro and your family!
 
corridors of my cells
#7 Posted : 3/1/2010 11:47:54 AM

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I wish you as a whole family can go over this, and i send my best wishes for your brother. Hope he will be healed soon and you just come back reporting us that he is healed my friend.

Peace and Love
 
droplet
#8 Posted : 3/1/2010 12:39:51 PM

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DMTripper
#9 Posted : 3/1/2010 12:41:44 PM

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I'm sorry to hear about your brother Sad
I hope things go well and he will recover.

I send my blessings,

––––––

DMTripper is a fictional character therefore everything he says here must be fiction.
I mean, who really believes there is such a place as Hyperspace!!

 
obliguhl
#10 Posted : 3/1/2010 1:06:56 PM

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That's quite shocking to read and I can only guess how shocking this must be for you. A cousin of mine got cancer and she's the sweetest kid, but in no way like a brother could be. Me and my brother don't have much in common, but he's nevertheless more than a friend to me. Losing him would be disastrous, and even this word is too detached to express my feelings.

Let's just hope for the best, that the tumor is operable. My cousin is stable for now, but you never know for how long. Noone gave her any chance to live. All her friends at the hospital died. So there's always hope. Just don't be afraid to take the time and tell your brother how much you love him.

Best of luck to you, much strength and hope!
 
Virola78
#11 Posted : 3/1/2010 1:31:42 PM

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Hang in there dude. Wish you best of luck.

“The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart.” -Nikolai Lenin

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
 
SnozzleBerry
#12 Posted : 3/1/2010 2:38:16 PM

omnia sunt communia!

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I'm so sorry for your situation. Cancer is rough..i have lost several relatives to various forms of cancer and it is never easy. It's important to remember that you can turn to your family in times like these as they are the main support system we have.

love and peace
SB
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גם זה יעבור
 
Spock's Brain
#13 Posted : 3/1/2010 3:50:03 PM

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Kartikay
#14 Posted : 3/1/2010 4:04:57 PM

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My thoughts go out to you and your family, ambi.
He led a double life. Did that make him a liar? He did not feel a liar. He was a man of two truths. - Murdoch, Dame [Jean] Iris

Kartikay is a character role that I play when I feel like escaping reality. Nothing I say under the pseudonym "Kartikay" reflects any of my actual life or personal history.
 
ragabr
#15 Posted : 3/1/2010 4:17:17 PM

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So sorry to hear this. Several family members, including my mother, have fought with the beast. My thoughts are with you during this very difficult time.
PK Dick is to LSD as HP Lovecraft is to Mushrooms
 
Pandora
#16 Posted : 3/1/2010 4:49:18 PM

Got Naloxone?

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ambi-lysergance,

Thank you for sharing this. I know it was not easy. Nothing is right now. It has been well expressed here, but is worth repeating: We are shocked and saddened by the burden that you and your brother are carrying and the challenges you are facing.

Try never to loose hope. I believe, that even when prayer falls by the wayside in times of post-extremis, there is always a place for hope. Although you and your brother are cognizant of the probable, anything is possible.

I suspect that however things go, you will be there for your brother during this difficult period. I feel safe in saying that if there is anything that I or anyone else here in this community can do for you (I would go to your show in a hot second if I lived anywhere near Europe!) you should not hesitate to make a post or send a PM.

I know that prayers are going out to you and your brother from this community. For those of us who do/cannot pray, our thoughts and hearts are with both of you during this time.

Peace & Love to You & Your Brother,
Pandora
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


Hyperspace LOVES YOU
 
Infinite I
#17 Posted : 3/1/2010 5:02:16 PM

JC


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Phlux- wrote:
I have a younger brother and i couldnt possibly imagine anything bad ever happening to him - i really feel for you bro - i hope/know everything will work out fine.
Keep ur chin up dude.


Im the same with my older brother really feel for you ambi, hope you guys get through this much love to you!
 
Jorkest
#18 Posted : 3/1/2010 5:09:21 PM

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i would recommend looking up Essiac or 4-herb tea

HIGHLY RECOMMEND...SUPER HIGHLY RECOMMEND

it's a sound
 
universecannon
#19 Posted : 3/1/2010 5:17:27 PM



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Good vibes to your brother, you, and your family!



<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
 
۩
#20 Posted : 3/1/2010 5:53:53 PM

.

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lovin' you and your family...
 
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